Title: Everything and Then Some
Author: Kristen Sharpe
Date: December 27, 2015
Rating: G
Warnings: None.
Continuity: Any.
Disclaimer: "Fullmetal Alchemist" belongs to Hiromu Arakawa, Square ENIX, Studio BONES and various other parties.

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            “So, what do you look for in a woman, Fullmetal?”

            “What?”  Edward Elric glared at the Colonel over his book.

            “You’re the only one who hasn’t put in his opinion,” Colonel Mustang answered, gesturing to his gathered subordinates.  Minus Hawkeye, who would have silenced the “discussion” with her presence alone.

            “Because I’m reading,” said Ed, raising his book back to his face.  Why did Al have to leave him here while he went to the pharmacy?  These guys wouldn’t even notice if he nodded off behind his book, and wasn’t that what Al was worried about?  Him sleeping with a concussion?  As if he didn’t know how to deal with a concussion.

            “Are you drifting off, Fullmetal?”

            “No.”  Had he closed his eyes?

            “Then, answer the question.”

            “Like I think about stuff like that!”  Ed sniffed.  “Al and I are busy, you know.”

            “Yeah,” now Havoc was joining in, “but you’ve must’ve at least looked.”

            “No.”

            “Not even at your charming young mechanic?” Mustang heaved a dramatic sigh.  “You have a young woman who can not only fill out a miniskirt nicely, but you've had the good fortune to see her do so on multiple occasions!”  He fixed Ed with a glare.  “You should be grateful.  Some of us are not so fortunate.”

            “Tragic.”  His eyelids were so heavy.

            “Perhaps Edward is most interested in the young lady’s clever mind,” suggested Falman.

             “Mmm, the Boss is the brainy type,” Breda allowed.

            “Stupid,” Ed slurred.  “S’everything.  And, her eyes.”

            Wait.  Did he say—?

            Ed jerked up, realizing that everyone was smirking at him.  He jumped to his feet.

            Al chose that moment to open the door.  Perfect.

            “Brother, I—”

            Ed was already pushing him back out.  “Great.  Let’s go!”

            The door shut behind them just as the laughter started.