Title: Unnatural Disaster Author: Michael Christman Notes: Just a couple of points that might need explanation. In this story there is a reference to dogs being used by the Enforcers these would be like our four legged friends that sniff for bombs or drugs. There are also references to two people that we would know in the human world, the late actor Peter Cushing and former President Ronald Reagan they are assumed to be kats for the purposes of this story. I hope that will clear up any confusion. questions, comments and observations accepted at christman.26@osu.edu ****************************************************************** Unnatural Disaster Commander Feral woke to the sound of a telephone ringing. He was still groggy from the previous night's escapades that had also left him bruised and battered. Picking up the telephone from its cradle he answered, "This is Feral." "Commander?" His secretary Robin asked recognizing his voice even though most of the bombast had gone, "Are you coming in to work today?" "Ahugh what?" Commander Feral made a Nixon like noise. "Work sir it's after ten thirty." He looked at his clock radio it read 10:34, "Holy kats I'm late!" A shot of adrenaline went through him he dropped the phone and spastically kicked out depositing himself on the floor as a result. He regained his composure picked up the television remote control and flopped back onto his bed. He turned on the TV only to see a picture of Lieutenant Commander Steele. The announcer did a voice over explaining the situation of the previous night. "The situation could have turned deadly last night." He intoned, "Horst Chemical USA has issued a press release informing us that when mixed with ethyl alcohol their non-lethal nerve gas becomes a toxic nerve poison." "Is Steele out of his mind?" Commander Feral thought aloud a stunned expression on his face. "Originally developed for the German Army this. . ." Commander Feral changed the channel. Now Ann Gora was reporting from the atrium of the Steele Building. An impressive array of tropical plants and fountains expanded behind her. People weaved through the passageways soaking in the beauty and majesty of the building. ". . .exploded in the mail room of the Steele Building. It is reported that mail equipment has been destroyed and two mail room workers were injured. What has not been reported is who delivered the bomb." Commander Feral groaned, "From one crisis to another." The news story droned on about things Commander Feral had little interest in, namely Steele's father. Leslie Steele was a despicable kat with a knack for turning tragedy into personal triumph. If Feral had his choice to spend eternity chained to the Lieutenant Commander or his father he would pick the Lieutenant Commander. The story ended and Ann Gora appeared on a reduced screen so that a male announcer could ask her questions and be seen by the viewers. "Ann, have there been any further updates on this bombing?" The male announcer asked Ann turned in a way that looked like he was facing both Ann and the viewers. "The only major development has been that bomb sniffing dogs have been brought in to help with identifying trace residues from the blast. No other new information has been made public yet. It remains stated that a bomb has exploded in the mail room of the Steele Building downtown. As yet the Enforcers have no clue to who has sent the bomb or the reason for doing so. This is Ann Gora Katseye News." Commander Feral turned off the TV and began massaging his temples. Not only did he have to deal with Steele's senseless act of stupidity but he also had to deal with a high profile bombing. Feral turned to look at the clock again, it now read 10:38, "I guess I had better get going if I'm going to deal with this." ********************************************************************* ********* The Steele Building mail room was in a shambles; mail equipment was destroyed and letters were scattered everywhere. Yellow crime scene tape cordoned off the area while Enforcers, including a bomb sniffing dog, worked on searching for clues. Two injured mail sorters were taken to the hospital others were treated in the building now they just looked in the door watching the Enforcers. Phones went unanswered as calls from all over the building came in wondering where the mail was. Into this maelstrom stepped Felina Feral her paw rubbed her head as she attempted to get over last night's festivities. "Status report sergeant." She asked. "A small package bomb exploded here about 8:32 this morning. The witnesses say that it was in Leslie Steele's personal mail. We've been collecting fragments and residue traces but with all of this mess it is taking a while." Both kats turned at the sound of an excited he-kat squawking about getting into the mail room. He was arguing with the guard at the door who was not going to let him in. "I'll take care of this." Felina said to the sergeant as she walked over to the doorway. The problem was a short glasses wearing kat with a pronounced stutter probably brought on by the stress he was under was wagging a claw in the face of the guard. "I-I-I demand t-t-to see who's in charge here." "That would be me. Let him in corporal." "L-L-Lieutenant I want to know why this mail room is shut down. w-w-we have business we have to conduct." "We're working as quickly as possible to collect any evidence but it will take a little time. We should be done shortly." "S-s-see that you are. M-M-Mr. Steele is quite displeased at what is going on here." Felina's patience with this butt kissing yes kat had run out. "You can tell Mr. Steele that we will have this place running when we have it running and as for you if you ever talk to one of my Enforcers like that again! I will personally tie you into an oblong shape and kick your ass through a goal post!" "W-w-well I never." He stormed off probably to tell on her. "Maybe you should have." **************************************************************** Commander Feral walked out of the elevator into the lobby of the Enforcer building's administration floor. He turned and swiped his card through the card reader charging the balance of the day to comp time. He turned and walked down the hall where the Lieutenant Commanders' offices were. He knew they would not be there though; they would be in the conference room goofing off. The Lieutenant Commanders were the ones who actually ran the departments that made up the Enforcers so they did not actually have to do any kind of work outside the office. For that matter neither did Commander Feral, though he believed that the chief law enforcement officer should be seen by the public actually doing something. He had that same policy for Steele but he dropped it when Steele became more of a problem than he was worth. Steele was in the conference room with four of the other lieutenant commanders. They were sharing office gossip while eating donuts and drinking coffee. Lieutenant Commander Pawdling, a close to retiring veteran of the old Megakat City Police department, and one of the few kats in the Enforcers who could actually claim to be one of Steele's friends questioned Steele about his father's particular habits. "I really can't believe that your dad actually has someone open his mail for him." "My dad would pay someone to go to the bathroom for him if he could figure out how." Steele leaned back in the swivel chair drinking from his coffee mug. "Is that what you rich kats do, pay people to do the tasks you don't like?" Lt. Comdr. Ozon the, internal affairs director, dropped the newsmagazine she was reading to look at Steele. "If we didn't just think of where the economy would be, besides being rich isn't all it's cracked up to be." "It sure beats being poor." Lt. Comdr. Riesenbaum chief of defense for the Megakat district chuckled he was joined by Vice's Lt. Comdr. Belhamn and the others. Commander Feral had seen enough, "Steele!" He roared startling all the conference room's occupants, "I want to see you in my office in five minutes!" Feral turned and left the room walking quickly to his own office. "Busted!" Lt. Comdr. Pawdling called out to the hyperventilating Steele. "Good morning Robin I'll need a request for leave form and my messages." Feral's secretary gave him the leave form and read off his messages. "One from Deputy Mayor Briggs she sounded kind of whoosey, two from Katco Oil Company asking where their money is, and one from your brother." Commander Feral shuddered. Few things gave him a chill like having to talk to his brother. "Thank you Robin is there any thing else?" "Oh yes, one from someone who declined to give their name says that 'Commander Feral is a big fat stupid head.'" Robin began typing. "I hope that you put that person straight." Commander Feral said. "I did sir, I told him you were not fat." Robin said as she continued typing "You know I would fire you but your too damn good" "I know that sir." Commander Feral walked into his office. The telephone loomed large over him he knew that on the other end of the line in Washingtom wait his brother ready to sting him with a few one liners. Commander Feral picked up the receiver and dialed his brother's number hoping he'd be in committee. No such luck, "This is Feral," The voice on the other end of the line said. At 52 years old, congresskat Robert Feral was seven years Commander Feral's senior but he could still easily pass for his brother in the looks department though he was slightly shorter and had longer hair that was salted with gray especially around the temples. This gave him a look somewhat like his daughter. "Bob it's Ulysses" Commander Feral said without much enthusiasm. "Well its about time you called. Did you get my shirt?" Representative Feral said gleefully barely suppressing a laugh. "Yes I got it" "Good my daughter never called me last night. She usually does when she serves as a conduit for my gifts" "Ummm yes" "As long as we're on the subject, will you be escorting my perpetually dateless daughter to my fund-raiser at the end of October? The president will be there." "What makes you think I wouldn't have a date?" Representative Feral laughed, an annoying laugh not a normal one, "You, a date!" he laughed again. Commander Feral winced there was something about his brothers laugh that rubbed him the wrong way. "It could happen." "You're serious," Bob Feral paused, "you're not going to bring that rubber she-kat that I sent you three years ago because I don't want to be embarrassed in front of the president." Commander Feral rolled his eyes only to catch the sight of Lieutenant Commander Steele meekly entering the room. "Listen Bob I'll have to let you go I have a meeting to attend to. I'll talk to you later, ummmm bye." Feral hung up the phone and turned to Steele, "Thank God you're here that brother of mine would have driven me crazy." Steele could not believe that Commander Feral was actually happy to see him, "What did you want to see me about sir?" "Did you think that I would not find out about you deciding to use nerve gas last night Lieutenant?" Lieutenant Commander Steele gulped before starting, "I thought that it would be a good idea to stun everyone and inject them with the antidote while they were still." Commander Feral leaned back in his chair, "At least you showed that you were thinking. However I learned something new today." Feral pulled a presss release from a stack of papers on his desk, "Can you read this for me? It's in German and I can't read it." He pointed to a specific passage that had been marked. "Uhhh, Achtung," He started. "In English please." "Warning: Do not use in proximity with ethyl alcohol." "Do you know what ethyl alcohol is Lieutenant?" "The alcohol that is used for drinking." Steele said sheepishly "Correct, now do you know why the Germans do not use this particular nerve gas in their arsenal?" "No sir." "It is because they found out that when it comes into contact with alcohol it becomes toxic. Now, do you know what would have happened when that much nerve gas would come in contact with all the ethyl alcohol in and around that fair?" "No sir." "You would have created a nerve toxin that would have killed not only the festival goers and yourself and the Enforcers nearby, but a good portion of the population that lives downtown." Commander Feral leaned forward and clasped his paws together. "Now what am I to do about the fact that my second in command thought up this idiotic scheme?" "A pat on the back and a 'try harder'?" "No, I was thinking more along the lines of a suspension. The only problem is when can it be served. This week requires you to be here till Thursday, and Friday you have to finish collecting money for the football pool. Next Monday and Tuesday are out you have to pay off the winners and start a new pool. So is next Thursday and Friday. I guess you'll have to be suspended next Wednesday. That reminds me are my squares available in the pool?" Steele produced the paper with one hundred squares on it most of which were filled with peoples' names. Commander Feral signed his name in two of the open squares then passed the paper back to Steele. "How much?" "Ten dollars for the two squares." Commander Feral opened his wallet and gave Steele a ten dollar bill. "Is that all sir?" Steele asked. "No, on your suspension take comp time. We'd rather not pay you time and a half for all of those hours you have saved up. That is all." Commander Feral busied himself with some other papers on his desk. ****************************************************** Jake and Chance sat on a couple of reconditioned lawn chairs on the porch of their garage listening to the radio. It was the bottom of the hour and news had replaced the morning talk show that had just been playing. Both looked uninterested in the task they had to perform, an inventory of the salvage yard for an environmental impact study. "What do you think is out there Chance?" "Stuff." "Yeah stuff but how much stuff?" "A lot of stuff." "That really doesn't help much Chance." "Sorry, haven't you been keeping those papers that Burke and Murry have been giving us?" "Of course I have but they only tell us how many metric tons we're getting it doesn't say any thing about what the breakdown is. That we were supposed to do as it comes off the truck." "This is insane they can't possibly expect us to figure out exactly what's out there Feral would need to hire us assistants for that." "Maybe we should sell it all. I bet we could get a fortune for it with all that aluminum, iron and copper and who knows what else is out there." "Like that drum of toxic waste we got one time. I stuck that over the hole that those damn raccoons were coming from." "That must be why those raccoons can chew through concrete now. Turn up the radio Chance they're talking about last night." Chance turned up the radio, "And last night a riot broke out in the Megakat City Octoberfest. It was believed to be caused by a microorganism that was introduce by Dr. Viper. The situation was resolved when the SWAT Kats deluged the area with the contaminated beer. To recap, new threats to middle east peace may cause the great powers to intervene, its bad guys 0 SWAT Kats 16 billion as another attempt to take over the city goes down the drain and a bomb explodes in the mail room of the Steele building wounding several, one severely. Now back to the Emily Stern Show on . . ." Chance turned the radio down. "Hey that crazy hippie kat is coming back from scavenging more junk. We had better treat him nice maybe he'll take it all with him." Chance said wishfully as they both got up. The hippie kat had a truck load of parts from crashed jets. "I'll take these parts guys." "All right I'll just take a look and see what you've got back here." Jake opened the trucks tailgate and hopped in looking at the things that the hippie kat was buying. He purchased a pilot's seat, flaps for a wing, a front landing gear, a canopy and several 'brains' as well as other pieces of outer airplane hull. Jake was somewhat mystified by what the kat was buying. "Okay you've got some pretty good airplane parts here we can let them go for a thousand dollars." Jake jumped down to the ground. "Sounds fair." The hippie kat adjusted his thick glasses then put his paw into his pocket and retrieved a bundle of one hundred dollar bills. He peeled off ten of them and handed them to Jake. "Just out of curiosity what are you going to do with those parts?" Jake pointed his thumb over his shoulder toward the truck bed. "Oh, I'm creating an artwork 'The Futility of Speed' out of aircraft parts. I hope that it will be shown at the modern art wing of the Megakat Museum." The truck's radio played a news report about the failed bombing in the Steele Building. The hippie kat looked somewhat disappointed at the news. He climbed into the cab of the truck, "Thanks for the stuff." "Hey no problem. Happy to help out" Jake waved as the truck speed off. "You know that is why I'm glad that the government no longer funds the arts 'Futility of Speed' what a stupid thing. Instead we should be pushing to go faster." Chance said as the truck turned onto the main road. "He sure had some sophisticated stuff though. I wonder if he knows what he has there?" Jake counted five of the hundreds, "Here's your share." "Isn't this technically Feral's money?" "Yeah but if he finds out that we were declaring that stuff unrepairable and leaving it out there he'll be even madder. We're supposed to be salvaging that stuff y'know." ******************************************* The next morning Dr. Lieter Greenbox unlocked the door of his office and entered carrying a box with some research materials, behind him a graduate student walked in carrying letters and a package. The office was littered with the trappings of academic life. Awards hung on the walls, papers were piled in every conceivable place, where the floor was visible it looked as if it had not been vacuumed in ages. The graduate student gingerly stepped in the open spaces pausing before a chair piled with magazines. She swept the old science journals off a chair and piled Greenbox's mail there. "Whoops I left that disk of information that Mr. Steele wanted in the car. Why don't you start work while I go get it." Dr. Greenbox said as he patted himself looking for the disk. "Okay Dr. Greenbox I'll start on your mail I've been wanting to get at it for a couple of days now." Dr. Greenbox walked out into the hallway as he got to the stairs leading to the first floor he realized that he had forgotten his car keys. Shaking his head he began walking back to his office. The door was still open and as he turned and faced it he was caught in a tremendous explosion. Greenbox picked himself up off the floor and looked at his office again. Smoke poured out from the door papers were beginning to alight in any crazy order and the smell of explosives hung in the air. Alarms sounded throughout the building and people began evacuating. Another professor bounded out of his nearby office holding his notes. Turning to run to the stairwell to leave he saw Dr. Greenbox. "Lieter Your hurt!" The professor dropped his notes and ran to his colleague. "Never mind me Holly's in there." Greenbox broke free of the other professor's grip and entered his office. "Oh God" The graduate student was lying on the floor unconscious. She was bruised, cut and her right paw was blown completely off but she was alive. The other professor followed Dr. Greenbox into the office looked horrified at what he saw. "I'll get a first aid kit." He disappeared presumably to find a first aid kit. "Hang on Holly help will be here soon." He said picking up the receiver of the phone it was dead, "Damn it!" The other professor came back holding the first aid kit. He opened it and began to work on the victim. Dr. Greenbox could not watch he turned his head to look at the wall only to see the girl's paw lying on some long forgotten paper. He got up and moved to his small refrigerator to get some ice. The freezer was empty but the refrigerator had a case of soft drinks. Greenbox grabbed the box that had his research in it tossing in several cans of the drink. He then picked up the severed paw placing it on top of the cans then placed more cans on top of the paw. Then they waited for the paramedics to arrive. Dr. Greenbox sat with a blanket over him. Even thought it was a warm day he could not stop shaking. He was bandaged up and still a little blackened from the smoke. Watching the EMS squad take away Holly and her paw was just too much for his nerves to bear. "Try to calm down Dr. Greenbox." Felina gave him a paper cup of water, "We need to know what happened." Dr. Greenbox drank from the cup then spoke, "I don't really know what happened. I left my office to go get a disk and when I came back the office blew up." "What was your graduate student doing as you left?" Felina probed. "She was opening my mail." "Lieutenant Feral, there is a message for you it seems another bomb blew up at one of Steele's construction sites." One of the Lower ranking Enforcers handed her a piece of paper. "Steele again? I might have to have a talk with Leslie Steele." "If you do can you give him this?" Dr. Greenbox gave her the disk he was going to get when his office exploded. Felina looked at the disk light reflected off it in a rainbow pattern, "I definitely want to see him now." ******************************************************************* A lone figure peered out from behind a pile of brush that had recently been cleared to make way for a road. What he saw was the burned out remains of a construction trailer and numerous construction workers laid out receiving care from paramedics on the scene. Two workers were injured badly enough to require being life-flighted out. This brand of terrorism would not be likely to move Leslie Steele that would require something truly big. He backed away from the pile of brush: there was no need to get involved. He looked for a stick suitable for walking then picked it up. As far as anyone needed to be concerned he was just a hiker out enjoying nature or at least what was left of it. He started to walk for the foothills of the Megakat mountains. ****************************************************************** Felina walked out of the elevator onto the Steele Building's 147th floor. She had heard of what was at the top of this tower but never really believed it, until now. The construction of the building was deliberately set up to impress and make diminutive the visitor. It was working, Felina meekly walked up to the desk of Steele's personal secretary, "Lieutenant Felina Feral here to see Mr. Steele." The secretary said nothing as she looked at some computer files then turned to Felina, "You may go in he is expecting you." Felina walked to the doors turned the knob and walked into the elder Steele's office. What had been impressive before was supplanted by what was in the office itself. Dark save for some light thrown from two halogen torchiere lamps set to a very low level of illumination. The curved face of the building offered a panoramic view of the city skyline except for the far left corner where the Megakat Tower had blocked out part of the view. On the right wall a row of bookcases held personal effects of a lifetime of work; awards, models of various things that Steele's companies built, as well as a model of the 'Super Star Destroyer Executor' that was lit up by fiber optic wire. To the right of the doors she entered through, an autographed picture of Peter Cushing hung protected by a glass covering. Felina began to admire the decor when a voice interrupted her, "I can't talk to you from across the room. You will have to come closer or leave." Felina was startled by the voice but began to walk towards the desk steeling up courage as she did so. She stopped at the desk halting between two chairs as the elder Steele turned around in his chair. There were those who said that Leslie Steele did not have children but simply cloned himself. This of course was impossible all of his children were born before cloning a complex organism like a kat was feasible. Felina was only familiar with the Lieutenant Commander but she could say with certainty that aside from Leslie's gray hair and a face that was beginning to show its sixty-eight years of age, they looked alike. "Do you have anything to say to me or are you just going to look out the window?" the old kat asked Felina mistakenly thinking that she was gazing out the window. "Oh yes Mr. Steele, may I?" She motioned to one of the chairs. Leslie motioned that she could sit down and she did so. "I'll be brief. Do you have any information that could lead to who might have sent you the package bomb?" "Any one I have at least a dollar more than, which is everyone on Earth." Leslie puffed up with pride "However if you want a more specific answer, any number of the greenie groups that have been against my building projects. They have been trying to stop my new housing development off the RWR for some time now. Claiming that there are some sort of religious artifacts out there, as if I care about some gutter religion that no longer exists. If you ask me that area is nothing more than a bunch of ruined strawberry fields that got run over by tanks in the last war." Felina was unimpressed by Leslie's diatribe against his enemies but there was one question she still had to ask him, about the disk Greenbox gave her. "What exactly is on this disk Dr. Greenbox wanted me to give to you?" The old kat took one look at the disk in its casing set it down and gave his answer. "That disk has the prototype for a construction robot that can optimize the building industry. Greenbox was designing it as a joint venture between my company and Pershia developing." Another robot that we'll be fighting when it goes haywire Felina thought. "Of course the design specs indicate that it will be too expensive to build, to make any kind of economic sense." Leslie handed the disk back to Felina, "Your evidence." Close call, Felina thought again as she took the disk back. "Thank you for taking the time to meet with me Mr. Steele." Felina got up from her chair Leslie did not do the same. She backed up unintentionally bowing slightly then turned and quickened her pace to the doors. She turned back to look at the desk Leslie's chair had turned around and he resumed his watch out the window. Felina opened the door and left without a sound. ****************************************************************** The hippie kat marveled in his creation. It was a masterpiece, a full scale working model of a jet airplane. "Amazing what you can build from stuff in a scrap yard." He chortled to no one in particular. A jet plane was worthless to him without bombs to drop. That he had created utilizing a witch's brew of chemicals that were jelling in a vat in a building near his mountain cabin. That chemical mixture was poured into small bomblets, then those were packed into a single larger canister. These types of bombs were known as Minelets excellent weapons for open targets like runways, oil equipment or construction sites. Soon, very soon he would take his fight to a new level. Fully loaded his plane taxied onto an abandoned highway. The highway was a minor east west route whose connections were cut when a bridge over a canyon was blown twenty years ago to prevent rebel soldiers from crossing, two tanks still sat there as artifacts from that time. When the Megakat dam was constructed the other section of road was flooded out. Unwittingly these two unconnected events created a runway sometimes used by fisherkats with pilot's licenses but now it was used by him. The plane's jet engines droned into the twilight It was time for a late night test of both his flying and bombing capabilities. He smiled as he adjusted his visor. It was hooked into the plane's navigation and control systems it also compensated for his poor eyesight. They had tried to take his sight away all those years ago but now he had the power to return the favor. He pushed the planes throttle to full power and released the brake the plane lurched into action rolling down the road toward the tanks. He lifted off just prior to where the tanks were siting raised the gear and plotted a course in the direction of Megakat City. ********************************************************************* *** Callie fiddled with her keys trying to remember which one opened the door to her new house. She had moved from a smaller house near the city center that she had bought after winning her first election to city council to this castle off Megakat City's new outerbelt. She had as a first termer voted against the Ronald Wilson Reagan Memorial Outerbelt believing that the more than three billion dollars would be better spent fixing already worn roads in the city instead of building an eight lane highway on scrubland on the very outskirts of the city. How naive, roads do not go where they are needed they go where billionaire developers want them to. Twenty five years ago irrigation works made this the strawberry capital of America. War ran off the farmers who sold out cheap to Leslie Steele now he was developing the land at an enormous profit mostly for himself. Callie didn't like Leslie Steele, no one really did but he had the money so he made the rules there was not much anyone could do about that. An explosion gave her reason to look towards the new construction site. A mushroom cloud of fire rose over the nearby construction equipment and building supplies. Callie looked up as a jet plane roared overhead she was not an expert on planes but knew enough to get by. This one had a rigid wingspan like the Enforcer jets but was somewhat larger with bomb bays. The plane was pointed like the Turbokat though with twin engines between twin tails. Callie did not know this kat's problem but he did seem to have an attitude. Callie reached into her purse fumbling for the communicator. Finding it she depressed the activator and called out to the SWAT Kats. ********************************************************************* *** Chance lay asleep on the deck over the garage when he heard the klaxon sound. Waking with a start he spilled the mostly empty inventory log book onto the floor. He stood suddenly realizing that his left leg was still asleep and was forced to stumble awkwardly to a nearby phone. Rubbing life back into his leg he answered, "What can we do for you Ms. Briggs?" "We've got big problems guys. Some wacko just bombed a construction site out here by the new outerbelt and the old Imperial Highway. The Enforcers have been called but I'd feel a lot better if you were there too." "Roger that Ms. Briggs, we're on our way." Chance hung up the phone, now where was Jake? He looked out the window, Jake was outside sitting at a table with a cash box talking to a kat who wore a burnoose. Chance walked up to Jake who was arguing about the price of three 500kg bombs with the kat with the burnoose. Behind him were several other kats one who looked zoned on something, a second who looked like some kind of computer geek dressed in a red shirt and blue jeans, a couple both dressed in green suits, another who wore a lab coat, and another that was large, tall and who periodically either talked to or hit the bulges in his pockets. "1500 dollars is not outrageous, it's one dollar a kilogram." Jake said as he leaned back on the chair. "Listen Ahmed take it or leave it but that's as low as I'm going." "Jake I need to talk to you." "Not now Chance I'm conducting business." "Allie-kay alled-kay." "What are you talking about?" Chance grabbed Jake by the collar of his coveralls and dragged him toward the garage, "Sorry folks the store is closed come back some other time." The line of kats groaned. The big tall one that looked kind of like Darkkat and also sounded kind of like Darkkat threatened to take his business elsewhere. "Chance you just blew a golden opportunity to make a few bucks." Jake got out between gags. "Yeah, but while you were playing merchant of death Callie called. some nut case bombed a construction site by the new outerbelt. She wants us to help out." "All right, fine, but I can walk to the hanger without your help Chance." ********************************************************************* *** The Turbokat roared out of the tunnel into the sky. The SWAT Kats passed two Enforcer helicopters slowly advancing in the same general direction that they were going. The construction site reveled no trace of the aircraft but did display in graphic detail the destruction he caused. "Well here's the construction site. Where's the bad guy?" T-Bone wondered looking at two downed helicopters. "I've got him on radar flying at 500 meters about three kilometers east of here near the river." Razor replied looking at the Turbokat's instrument panel trying to choose what missile to bring this clown down with. The bogie maintained a steady course toward the new freeway's bridge over the Megakat River. The plane released a bomb that followed its laser site to the bridge. The bomb exploded obliterating the center span of the bridge sending chunks of steel, concrete and asphalt flying. "All right no one blows up a bridge in this town and gets away with it. I'm going to take this sucker down. Cookie Cutter deployed!" Razor shouted to the kat in the other plane. The hippie kat's plane sounded an enemy missile warning. He flipped on the counter measures hoping to jam the missile's radar but the missile maintained a lock. "I'll have to go low tech." The hippie kat thought as he ejected a chaff to confuse the radar signature of his plane. The chaff exploded and the SWAT Kats' missile traveled through the aluminum dust momentarily blinding it. This allowed the hippie kat to escape its field of vision. "This guy's good T-Bone, he really knows how to block a missile." "Yeah, well he can't fly too good. He should have closed in a tighter loop to get out of the missile's view. Then he would have been in position to blast us. Instead he's a tempting target, if you can hit him sureshot." "I've got him and this time He's not getting . . . Now what the hell is he doing?" Razor yelped as the target changed course and turned on a collision course at top speed. "He's going to hit us, shot him!" T-Bone yelled in panic. "With what? I don't have anything that will arm in that short a space T-Bone." The hippie kat did though and he released a missile then made a sharp turn towards the still standing westbound section of the outerbelt bridge. The missile armed itself then exploded when it came into proximity with the Turbokat scattering shrapnel that flew into the Turbokat's engine intakes and cockpit canopy. The junk caused one engine to flame out and the other two to be slightly damaged. The canopy was pitted with cracks. While the Turbokat was licking its wounds, the hippie kats plane turned to make another bombing run on the bridge over the Megakat River. The westbound bridge was still standing but not for long. Switching pylons the hippie kat prepared to drop another laser guided bomb. "Turn around T-Bone, we have to try to stop this nut before he hurts somebody." "Hurts _somebody_ what about us? We're banged up pretty bad you know." T-Bone turned the jet toward the opposing plane anyway. "Don't worry I've got him this time, Buzz saw missile deployed!" The hippie kat released a laser guided bomb at the bridge just before his missile warning alarms began to sound. Two of the SWAT Kats Buzz Saw missiles were locked on to his plane. It was decision time, either stay on course and be destroyed or waste a bomb and flee. The hippie kat decided to flee he was already sure of his abilities to hit a target, now he would brush up on his dog fighting skills. Disengaging from the bombing run the hippie kat dropped a chaff as he made a sharp right turn. One of the Buzz Saw missiles was fooled lost the lock then reacquired it on the bomb. It zeroed in then cut off the bomb's tail fins. The bomb fell crazily hitting the far left lane of the bridge exploding out ward. Parts of two other lanes buckled and fell into the river effectively leaving only one usable lane though the bridge's superstructure remained sound. The second Buzz Saw missile was able to reacquire a lock on the hippie kat's plane striking the airframe. A small trail of smoke and hydraulic fluid poured out of the opening. Enraged the hippie kat turned to blast the Turbokat with his machine guns. Only to be scared off by two Enforcer jets on a rapid approach. The Hippie turned fleeing toward the Megakat Mountains faster than the Enforcers could keep up with him. ********************************************************** The SWAT Kats needed a place to put down. the nearest place with a good flat surface was the construction site that had just been bombed. The Turbokat settled on the construction site away from the burned hulks of equipment that littered the area and burning gelatin from the bomblets that still flared in scattered places. Razor hopped out of the cockpit when the Turbokat touched down inspecting the engine intakes and engines, shaking his head as he did so. "We took some serious damage buddy. Number two engine is blown, number one is damaged. Hull has numerous piercings, looks like several hydraulic lines have been severed." "What's the prognosis Razor? How long will it be before we can fly again?" T-Bone joined him on the ground. "A couple of hours at least even then it will only be jury rigged. We're in for some overtime working on the jet T-Bone." "Speaking of working overtime here comes Commander Feral" T-Bone crossed his arms and leaned against the Turbokat as Feral's helicopter landed, disgorging the commander. The commander walked with the haughty air of a kat that had just caught his prey his commander's baton was clenched tightly in his fist. "I always knew you hot shots would end up on the wrong side of the law. You're under arrest for vandalizing this construction site and disrupting a public service." "Back off Feral we didn't do it." T-Bone started. "Yeah the real bad guy is getting away." Razor continued. "Not only that he shot up our plane, we want to press charges." T-Bone added figuring that even Feral could not be so dense as to miss the truth right in front of his eyes. "They're right commander there was another plane out tonight. I saw it with my own eyes." Deputy Mayor Briggs had been watching with amusement as Feral had to back away from his contention that it was the fault of the SWAT Kats. "Uncle what's going on?" Felina ran up to her uncle, "Why was I called out here?" "I don't know I didn't call for you." Commander Feral answered. A black limousine pulled into the construction site stopping in front of the arguing group. They all feel silent as one of the rear windows slid down. "Lieutenant Feral, may I speak with you, in the car?" Leslie Steele called out calmly. Felina gulped slowly opening the car door and sliding into the seat she closed it behind her and the window slid closed. The air conditioner chilled the air to what felt almost uncomfortable for Felina. She situated herself in the seat across from Mr. Steele and Dr. Greenbox. "You're probably wondering why I had my son call you out here." Mr. Steele said matter of factly to Felina "I thought there would be a reason for it." She said voice wavering at the end. "Yes Lieutenant, Dr. Greenbox and I have discussed this situation and we may have found a solid link between himself, myself and these other bombings. Doctor." Dr. Greenbox cleared his throat then began, "The common thread between the bombings is a trace residue from a the bomb blasts. It is a previously untested explosive compound that can have its force regulated by the percentage of relatively inert compounds added to it. This explosive was worked on by a professor of mine who. . ." "This professor was aligned with a lot of the greenie groups. Just prior to the war he was part of a protest against salvage logging in national forests, that resulted in the occupation of a congresskat's local office. The local police swabbed Cayenne Pepper Spray directly onto their eyes." Leslie Steele chuckled to himself. "The professor, a Theodore Katcynski, had an extremely severe reaction to the spray that resulted in major damage to his eyes and a lawsuit that he won. He disappeared into the mountains above Megakat City with his money and tends to keep to himself." "How exactly do we know that this Katcynski is the culprit. This form of bombing campaign is significantly different from what we were investigating." Felina noted the burning wreckage outside that used to be a construction site. "He is an environmental wacko against any kind of improvement of the living standards of katkind. He is willing to use any method to strike at encroaching civilization and by extension me. His method of delivery has changed but his motive remains the same. I am sure that if you investigate the residue traces you will see that the explosive is the same." "All right where is this fruitcake we'll go investigate him." "Some where in the Megakat mountains." "Where in the Megakat Mountains? They stretch into the jurisdiction of the state of Katlifornia. We can't do anything there." "Then coordinate with the Katlifornia Enforcers. It is not important who has bragging rights over his capture but only that he is stopped before he does something rash like blow up a nuclear plant or something. He would not have switched to using a jet airplane unless he planned something big." "What do you think is going on in there?" Commander Feral asked as he and the others looked at the extremely tinted windows of the car. "I bet he's mad about his construction site being blown up." Razor commented also looking at the darkened window. "Maybe he's crushing her throat from across the car with just the power of his mind." T-Bone drew an analogy. "Or zapping her with blue lightning." Callie made one of her own. Felina stepped out of the car the door closed behind her and the limousine speed off. "What did he say to you?" Commander Feral questioned his niece. "Just that we should take a look at an environmental nutcase known as Theodore Katcynski." ***************************************************************** It had been a marvelous strike. Complete destruction of a construction site and a test of his ability to drop bombs from a jet airplane. His skill as a pilot was lacking but the bombings indicated that he was satisfactory for the task he had in store. He walked to a map of Megakat City that was tacked to the wall and stabbed his claw at Megakat Dam a huge hydroelectric and water reservoir complex that kept the city lighted and watered. Building it however flooded Megakat Canyon an area that once was of preeminent beauty but now was just lake bed. Not for long, he thought as he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He gazed at the two new bombs he was working on they were armor tipped to give them a better penetration. Soon they would have rocket motors installed on their tails to give them an extra push into the dam's reinforced concrete structure. Within a day the wicked Megakat City with its skyscrapers, asphalt roads and cars would be wiped out, replaced with a natural alluvial delta. That was if the plane was in working order the SWAT Kats had proven more than a match for his technical know-how. He however could not attempt to destroy the city in a day; it would take a week if everything went according to plan just to get the parts from the salvage yard. Those two stupid mechanics would become wise to him if he attempted to bring out too much stuff at once. ******************************************************************* Two days later the hippie kat made his appearance at the salvage yard. He had been fortunate the damage to the landing gear was minimal. The gear itself would not have to be replaced only a few hydraulic lines. It would be easier to avoid suspicion by not having to buy a gear. Aside from two used guided missile shells that sat in the back of his truck today's components, hydraulic lines and computer boards, would fit in a shoe box. The two mechanics looked over every item that he was trying to purchase scrutinizing every last detail. This gave the hippie kat a moment of panic but that subsided when the smaller of the two announced, "Everything looks in order, we'll part with it for two hundred dollars." The hippie kat smiled, "Sounds fair." He pulled out his wad of one hundreds giving two to the smaller of the two kats who took it greedily. Not wanting to stick around he hopped into his truck and speed away. "Well I guess we can cross him off the list of potential suspects Chance. That junk isn't worthy of being on a plane." "It was worth a shot Jake, I'm sure that the screwball is buying from this salvage yard." "We've looked at everything sold, checked ID's, made note of every purchase of something noteworthy and still we've come up empty. This wild goose chase has even made it difficult for us to do any appreciable work on fixing up the Turbokat." Jake's voice was raised and his anger was directed at Chance. "Sorry Jake, listen why don't you get your mind off of this and I'll stay out of your hair by watching the yard OK.?" Chanced hoped that, that would calm his perturbed partner. "Yeah I guess your right. Listen I'm sorry I over reacted it's just that I've, we've been under a lot of stress lately." Remorse replaced the anger in Jake's voice. They both began to walk toward the garage. Later that evening Chance was cleaning up after having made himself dinner. The usual gang of malcontent journalists was showing just how immature they could be on the 'Megakat Group'. This was one of Jake's favorite shows so Chance was surprised when he failed to come up and watch it. "Hey Jake aren't you ever going to come up? You're missing the 'Megakat Group'" Chance called down the ladder to the hanger. Much to his surprise Jake emerged at the bottom of the ladder, "How much did I miss?" "Not much, although I think Ann Gora and Eleanor Katz are about ready to go for each other's jugulars." "And to think I nearly missed it. Thank you for small miracles." "Speaking of small miracles how's the Turbokat?" "I repaired the engines and intakes and replaced the canopy. No mean feat when you consider that the Turbokat parts are not exactly factory ready but we're going to have to be careful replacement parts are at a minimum. So we need to be sure that the Turbokat is completely tested before we go into combat again." "So a desert test run is in order." Chance rubbed his paws with anticipation. "Any test run we make should take it easy on the jet Chance. In fact I will be doing diagnostic tests and we'll be flying without ordinance." "I'm not sure I like the idea of flying without weapons Jake, it makes us sitting ducks." "Chance we have to test the new parts in those engines and putting undue strain on them now could damage them further. If that happens we won't have the parts to fix them." To underscore his point Jake turned to the television and ceased talking. ****************************************************************** As the sun broke over Megakat City the Turbokat rose out of the salvage yard circled once then flew off to the east. The SWAT Kats flew low passing Megakat International Airport until they flew over the RWR outerbelt where they could clear the airport's approach vectors. Turning north they set course for their desert test run. The hippie kat felt no need to go through such formalities. His plane was ready for take off and fully loaded with what he would need to accomplish his task. Two bays of laser guided bombs, one of 'Durandal' type anti-runway bombs and one of air to air missiles just in case anyone wanted to challenge his plan. He taxied his plane onto the section of abandoned highway pushing the throttle to full. The jet plane rolled down the road toward the demolished bridge and the rusted tanks that were now were silent sentinels succumbing to the rot of time. The hippie kat's plane roared over the tanks and into the valley toward the Megakat River Reservoir. The plane picked up speed as it banked out of the valley and flew over the reservoir. The water reflected the blue of the sky and the shimmer of the rising sun. Vacation houses and beach front lodges clung to the shores. A few pleasure boats dotted the area some of which had all ready decided to catch some of the trout that were plentiful in the lake. The crowds were light it was after all a Wednesday and most people would be at work and would be drowned when the lake came crashing down on them. The hippie kat was not going to concern himself with their plight he could now see the dam, the concrete barrier that prevented the free flow of the Megakat River. He banked his plane toward a canyon in a west south west direction. He would bypass the dam and come around from down stream. He switched to the LGB pylon and pushed the throttle forward a bit more, now was the time. The Megakat Dam's control room was continually lit up with indicator lights and monitors. The dam supplied almost all of Megakat City's water, everything from drinking water to mall fountains. In addition to that hydroelectric generators supplied a large portion of the city's electrical demand. Lastly the lake behind the dam had turned out to be a tourist attraction giving a decided boost to inland fishing and other activities. Keeping watch over all of that were six attendants and a supervisor. "Anyone know what happened to the pool for next Saturday's UKMC Vs Arkatsas? I'm thinking of putting a few bucks down." One of the attendants engaged in a little small talk with his coworkers. "Why would you waste your money on a crap shoot like that just give it to me." One of the other attendants growled angrily The chief engineer looked up from the clipboard that he had writing energy and water statistics on. "Somebody has to win and all the money gets paid out not like a bookie that keeps some for himself." Another attendant looked away from his monitor just in time to miss a jet air plane on a bombing run flying up the canyon." It would be nice if I was that somebody sometime. . ." the room shook slightly and the lights blinked off then on again. "What was that?" The chief engineer asked. "I don't know." One of the attendants answered. The chief engineer grabbed a telephone receiver, "This is control what just happened?" A somewhat stunned guard answered, "It was a jet plane that dropped a bomb on us. It dimpled the dam from an area just below the water line up to the road up top. You had better release some water or we might have a breech." "Yes thank you for the heads up. Please call the Enforcers." The chief engineer hung up the phone. "Start releasing water, part of the dam has been compromised if the flow is controlled we may be able to stave off a worse crisis. I'm going to see the mayor it may be necessary to evacuate the city." The supervisor turned to the elevator and pressed the call button then turned, "Do every thing you can to save the city but if worst comes to worst save yourselves." ************************************************************ * Commander Feral walked into the mayor's office carrying his commander's baton in one paw and a piece of paper in the other. He dreaded what he knew awaited him when Manx and Callie would expect an answer as to why the enforcers had not engaged the threat en masse. In the office Manx was hyperventilating Callie was composed but clearly worried. "Feral!" Mayor Manx squalled, "You have to do something. That fruitcake is going to destroy my ci-tay." "Fear not Mr. Mayor right now three of my finest pilots are on their way to engage this threat." Feral did not even believe himself. "Three Commander? Why not more?" Callie asked incredulous. "Because of this." Commander Feral muttered as he held out the paper he was carrying. Callie took the paper, "I don't believe it." She remarked with shock. "What is it Callie? What does it say?" Mayor Manx started hopping like an unruly child. "It's a court injunction taken out by Katco Petroleum Company against the Megakat City Enforcers for failure to properly pay their fuel bill. Legally they can't pump any gas." Callie read from the paper. "Or jet fuel or aviation fuel. Our whole force is grounded except for what we have in the vehicle's fuel tanks." Commander Feral filled in more bad news. "We're doomed, we're doomed." Mayor Manx concluded. "Is this the Mayor's office?" a new voice entered the room. It was the chief engineer at the dam looking as though he had run all the way from the dam. "Yes it is who are you?" Callie said to the profusely sweating kat. "I'm Arthur Wasser, the chief engineer at the dam. I called about the attack and the need to take emergency measures, which incidentally don't seem to be happening. I saw cars still heading into the city on my helicopter flight in. Those cars should be turned the other way around." "The need to take such drastic measures is not necessary. My Enforcers can handle this environmental low life. Even in their truncated state." He still tried to put the best face on a disaster waiting to happen. "You don't understand what is going to happen if that dam bursts. Here let me show you." The supervisor put a tape into a VCR and pushed play. The television showed an animation of Megakat City with the dam. It then removed the dam allowing all the water in the reservoir to spill out. The water rushed down the canyons into the bowl of land that Megakat City sat in. It obliterated every thing in its path; sprawling suburbs, roads and bridges even the downtown skyscrapers collapsed from its onslaught. That was the highlight of an educational tape that turns budding young hydrologists into kat-nip sniffing slackers. The chief engineer stopped further play of the tape and ejected it. Turning back to the assembled kats he said, "Now do you see the problem?" Mayor Manx understood perfectly he returned to his desk and calmly began writing his will. Callie was more pragmatic, "I think its time we started evacuating the city." "At least give my Enforcers the opportunity to shot this guy down Briggs. We can't start a panic, a lot of people could get hurt if we try to evacuate the city." "A lot of people could be killed if we don't Feral." "All right, I'll get the civil defense measures ready." Commander Feral picked up the phone and dialed his secretary's number. "Commander Feral's office this is Robin how may I help you?" "Robin patch me through to Lieutenant Commander Steele." "He's not here you suspended him for the day, with pay." She emphasized the last part. "Oh yeah that's right, how about Lt. Comdr. Pawdling?" "He called in sick sir." "What about Riesenbaum?" "He's in Chikatgo attending a conference." "Are there any lieutenant commanders around?" "I think Winthorpe is around somewhere but I don't know where he is, probably looking for a way to grow hair on his head." "Can you just connect me with some one up there I don't care if it's the janitor." The phone line muted then Commander Feral heard ringing, "At last." "Maintenance." "Damn it Robin, I didn't mean it literally. This is Feral is there anyone in charge up there I really need to contact someone." The phone muted again then started ringing, "Training lab this is Reich." "It's about time. Listen go into my office and open the middle drawer of my desk. There's a Scardykat key ring in there get it and go to the sub basement. There is a vault down there open it with the key and pick up the civil defense plan EP-G. Take that up to the communications tower and stand by. "Yes sir." ******************************************************************* Lieutenant Feral pushed her jet as fast as it would go. She knew that the events that were keeping the terrorist from having an easy time of bombing the dam would not hold him off forever. Tricky cross winds stopped his second run and the arrival of two Enforcer helicopters stopped a third. The terrorist would learn to compensate for the winds and the helicopters were more of a nuisance than a threat to him. That is what the jet was needed for, to shot him down. The Enforcer jet roared up the canyon towards the dam and the target it would engage. The two helicopters rose out of harm's way giving the hostile aircraft a clear shot at the dam. This was exactly what the Enforcers wanted the enemy to think let him line up his shot then while he was concentrating, blast him in the ass. Felina had a lock on him and she loosed a missile that immediately homed in on the hippie kat's exhaust plumes. The alarms in the hippie kat's jet gave him plenty of warning that a threat was approaching. Again he would have to delay a bombing run. Not to worry though he could just pop up a side canyon, finish off the troublesome Enforcer and resume his attack. Dropping flares the hippie kat banked right into the side canyon. The SWAT Kats were through with their desert test run and had moved to a more challenging course, a canyon test run. T-Bone was unwilling to press the Turbokat too far not wanting to incur Razor's wrath. The engines however were performing beautifully and this helped to put Razor in a very good mood. "Chance take the Turbokat out of the canyon by the dam. We can fly down river to the desert then fly back to the hanger. We will have to do some minor tinkering on the engines but we can have the Turbokat back in service by tomorrow." Razor sounded pleased the tests had come back better than he had hoped. He had even used the pronoun we indicating that his self imposed isolation was over. T-Bone flew down the canyon towards the main chasm only to come face to face with the hippie kat's jet. "What the?" T-Bone gasped as he turned hard to avoid the oncoming aircraft. "That's that screwball who shot us up T-Bone! What's he doing here?" "Never mind him, missile incoming!" T-Bone shouted as he took evasive action increasing thrust to get out of the narrow confines of the canyon. "Releasing flares!" Razor was regretting that they didn't even have a minimum of ordnance, now he really could use a decoy missile. The Turbokat cleared the canyon walls; T-Bone eased the throttle down to almost stall speed to reduce the thermal signature. With Razor unsure of the condition that the engines were in T-Bone was unwilling to attempt 'Plan Z'. It went all for the better the Enforcer missile followed the brilliant flares instead of the Turbokat's exhaust plumes. "Whew, we got lucky there Razor. Sorry 'bout the strain on the engines 'though" "Never mind, if that missile had hit us it would have been worse." "Sorry about that SWAT Kats. Did you see my target go by here." Felina queried the still rattled kats. "Yeah your bogie went down that canyon to the right." Razor said. "Yeah we just missed him." T-Bone joked. Felina turned her jet down the canyon after the kat in the plane. The Enforcer helicopters passed the Turbokat flying down the canyon to again engage the attacking aircraft. *************************************************************** The mayor's office had lost any sense of decorum. Commander Feral was still attempting to gain control over the Enforcers. Mayor Manx had apparently fainted though he continued to hug his golf clubs. Lower level city employees were running in and out of the office delivering messages and answering telephones. The chief engineer of the dam watched as Callie examined the city charter in an attempt to prove that she had authority over the situation. "What do you mean that you're not ready yet? You've had half an hour to assemble them." "Sorry sir but without vehicles its taking a little bit of time we're copying the forms to allow them to pay for gas out of their own pockets." "I don't care if you have to send them out on horseback, just do it." "That would be kind of hard sir. We disbanded all mounted units last year because we couldn't afford to pay for food for both horses and dogs so one had to go.' "What happened to the horses?" "We sold them." "To whom?" Commander Feral felt a knot in the pit of his stomach. "Some nearby national parks bought most of them and the rest were bought by breeders." "Whew!" Commander Feral sighed, "At least we won't get angry letters." Commander Feral's feeling of relief was short lived for Callie walked up to him with the city charter. "It says right here Feral, that 'when the mayor is under duress that the deputy mayor has authorization to act in his behalf.'" Callie pointed to the clause in the city charter delineating that. "It doesn't matter Briggs we don't have the ability to supervise an evacuation. Besides for you to take over the mayor would have to be under duress and Mayor Manx looks just fine to me." Callie looked at commander Feral like he was insane. "Looks just fine to you, for God's sake Feral he has passed out from the excitement and before that he was talking to his golf clubs." "I contend that, that is normal behavior for Mayor Manx." Feral stated the obvious. "That leaves me in charge." He pointed to the clause in the charter that backed his contention. "Feral that is the most stupid thing I have heard you say in a long time." Callie responded to his statement. "And where does it say that in the charter." "Right here in the part that was translated from the original Spanish. Next to where it says that as chief constable I'm supposed to get," Feral turned the page, " one chicken per month." Callie started leafing through her copy of the charter. "As deputy viceroy I'm supposed to get," Callie looked for what goodies she was entitled to, "four Nubian slaves per annum?" "Have you gotten your slaves, because I haven't gotten my chickens?" "Wait a minute commander. If these perks are still in the charter and they haven't been disbursed for the past 300 years what happened to the money that is budgeted for them?" "I don't know." "If we find out I bet we will have enough money to pay for your fuel." **************************************************************** Felina flew out of the canyon after the hippie kat whose plane was over the Megakat River. "He's going to fly up the river canyon. Blast him when he comes within range." Felina radioed out to her comrades in the helicopters. The two Enforcer helicopters moved into position weapons ready. They sighted in the hippie kat's plane only to hear their own missile warning alarms go off. The hippie kat launched a missile that began actively targeting one of the helicopters then a few seconds later launched another one that targeted the second helicopter. Despite heroic efforts to jam the missile the helicopters were simply not fast or maneuverable enough to avoid the missiles. The first helicopter tried releasing flares and chaff to interrupt the missile's tracking but the missile did not lose lock. The helicopter exploded into a large fire ball and its crew would not be going home to their families. The crew of the second helicopter fared better. Sensing impending doom when their radar lock alarms sounded. They moved a hundred meters back to a point where they were over the river. When the missiles came they bailed out into the river escaping with bruises, cuts and their lives. Felina watched as the helicopters were shot down without her even being able to lend a helping paw. She cursed the hippie kat as she pushed the throttle forward determined to catch up to him and shove a missile up his ass. She glanced at the fuel meter. Its reading indicated that she had a little less than half of the plane's fuel capacity left. If she continued consuming fuel at this rate the plane would exhaust its fuel supply in only a couple more passes. She had to make this shot count especially since there would not be any refueling at base. The hippie kat must have sensed her approach because he speed up as well. This is going to require some help thought Felina. "SWAT Kats are you there, over?" "Roger, what do you need Lieutenant?" T-Bone asked. "A little help. That nut's plane is simply faster than mine I can't get a lock on him." "The best we can do is run interference. We don't have any weapons on board to fight with." Razor said. "No weapons, what did you come out here for, to get blown away?" Felina asked in disbelief realizing that her help was not going to be much help. "Well we hadn't planned on getting into a fight we were just out to test the engines when we got caught up in this." Razor answered back. "Listen I hate to interrupt our little conversation but here comes the bad guy." T-Bone growled into the microphone as he turned the Turbokat to face the hippie kat in the canyon. The hippie kat flew up the canyon faster than he wanted to. Unfortunately it was necessary to keep ahead of the Enforcer pilot who was trailing him. It was easy to outrun the Enforcers but dropping the bomb at this speed would be a more tricky matter. His train of thought was interrupted when the Turbokat appeared. He instinctively throttled back and dived cursing the SWAT Kats for interference. No matter the dam still awaited, he leveled out the plane and resumed course. He set his sights on the dam just as infra-red warning alarms began to sound. The hippie kat grimaced, it was now or never. He selected his infra-red jammers and then opened the bomb bay doors, activating the targeting laser. It would be only a few seconds more until he could drop the LGB. As the Enforcer missile approached, he dropped the bomb, then released flares in the hopes of confusing the missile. The missile was not impressed it continued tracking the plane instead of the flares until the bomb hit the dam and exploded. The missile's internal guidance lost track of the hippie kat's plane turned toward a flare then arced toward the explosion at the dam adding its explosive force. This was something the dam could do without. The irony of the situation was not lost on the hippie kat who cheered this turn of events as he flew over the dam, bomb bay doors still open. An irate guard took the opportunely to take a few pot shots at the hippie kat's plane as it passed over his position. It was a useless gesture on his part a sidearm could do little damage to a jet airplane could it? For the SWAT Kats now was not the time for useless gestures. The dam was about to burst they had to shore it up. Without the need to converse the SWAT Kats swung into action. The one weapon that they did have was their cement machine gun. They splattered the damaged portion of the dam with the sticky goo effectively holding it together, at least temporarily. The chief engineer walked out of the elevator just as the Enforcer missile exploded against the dam jarring everyone in the control room. The lights blinked as the engineer strode toward his crew, "How is the dam holding up?" "What are you doing here sir?" the first attendant asked his boss. "The city leaders aren't listening, we have to drop the level of the reservoir or we're going to lose the dam." He briefly checked the monitors then turned back to his crew, "In order to save this city we are going to have to open the emergency tubes. I want to release 1,500 cubic meters per second to relieve stress on the dam and insure that the city won't be destroyed." "Sir we can't put that much water through those tubes. even if we open them manually the over rides will kick in closing them off." A second attendant said as he stood up from his position. "That is why I'll be staying here, now every one save yourselves and get out." The chief engineer sat at the control panel beginning procedures to open the emergency tubes. "Go on get out of here!" "You'll never be able to keep all those tubes open at once sir. We'll help." Three attendants stood before the open door of the elevator. The chief engineer looked back at the assembled crew and smiled, "Well then don't just stand there get to work." ******************************************************************** Mayor Manx regained consciousness soon after an accounts payable clerk made his appearance in the mayor's office. The clerk carried a portfolio of stocks and bonds that had been invested over the years. He settled behind a computer that would provide him with the relevant information for his presentation. Commander Feral, Deputy Mayor Briggs and Mayor Manx crowded around him. "How much money do we have in this account?" Callie wanted to know. "First I want to tell you a story. When the Dutch bought Kathattan Island from the Indians they paid the equivalent of 24 dollars for it. If that had been invested at a rate of return of 6 percent today those same Indians could buy Kathattan back with money to spare." Callie, Commander Feral and Manx were all smiles each of them was thinking of ways to spend this new windfall, "Unfortunately the Indians and Megakat City must have had the same investment consultant." Their smiles vanished, "What are you saying?" Callie asked. "That these investments are almost worthless. I mean just look at what they've invested in; slave trade stocks, Mexgatian war bonds from the Mexgatian war, Confederate bonds from the 1861 to 1865 Civil War, 50,000 shares of stock in the Congo Free State Railway Company for a railroad that was never built, Ottokat Turkish war bonds from Mega War II. . ." "All right you've made your point. So there is nothing of value in this account." Commander Feral interrupted. "Not exactly the last caretaker of this account bought Fillip-Morris and other tobacco company stocks. Worth all told a little more than one and a half million dollars. Plus there is about 200,000 dollars in cash." "That would be just enough to pay off your bill Feral." Callie imputed. "Would you like me to sell the stocks?" The clerk asked. "Mr. Mayor?" Callie turned to Mayor Manx. "Yes, of course, sell it!" Mayor Manx said with a rare sense of determination. Without a word the clerk began typing pausing while the computer was selling the stock. Seconds later the screen flashed 'sold for $1,506,439.90.' "Done deal, the account now holds $1,698,021.76." The clerk said not even looking up from the screen. "Transfer that to Katco Petroleum so we can pay our bill." Commander Feral pushed Mayor Manx out of the way. The clerk began to type again. "How much is the bill for commander?" Commander Feral fumbled with the Katco bill, "Uh, it's $1,650,470.22." "OK" The clerk entered the amount in, "Yes." He pushed the 'Y' key sending the funds. They all held their breath for a moment while the transaction processed itself. Finally a window popped up saying 'Payment received. Thank you for choosing Katco Petroleum.' Callie and Mayor Manx hugged briefly then shook paws. Commander Feral was more reserved cracking a smile as he pumped his left paw and slapped the back of the clerk's chair with his right. ****************************************************************** For Felina her uncle's efforts were too little too late. After the hippie kat hit the dam a third time he disappeared into a canyon. Without an airborne early warning and command (AEW&C) plane it was impossible to tell were an enemy or a friendly would show up. She waited outside the side canyon that led from the dam to the desert, that the hippie kat had been using as a conduit for his return trips. If he didn't know she was here he might just fly into a trap. As she finished that thought her own radar warning klaxon sounded. The enemy either had compensated for the lack of radar viewing capacity or was just plain lucky. In either case he had found her and painted her plane with his own radar tracking. Oh well no time like the present to say it, "This is Lieutenant Feral you're under arrest." The hippie kat started laughing. "Obviously he's not impressed." Felina said to herself. "Lieutenant Feral why have you attacked me?" As if he needed to ask Felina thought to herself, "Because you attacked Megakat Dam." "That's not a good enough reason to arrest me for anything. That dam is an abomination that I intend to eliminate. I request that you no longer interfere with me." "No dice, you'll touch that dam over my dead body." "So be it. I hope you like it in the third input." Within seconds every missile warning alarm in Felina's plane was sounding. Felina turned her plane up the canyon she had been laying in wait just outside of hoping to evade the missile's tracking guidance. She flew up the canyon as fast as was safe but the missile stayed on her tail following her despite her efforts to escape. Felina maxxed out her engines and climbed out of the canyon she knew that she could not fool the missile with chaff or flares and that outrunning it would be impossible. As if to add insult to injury the plane's fuel gauges read empty. Felina sighed then keyed her microphone, "This is Lieutenant Feral I'm out of the game, to anyone who is listening get this guy, over." Felina pushed the eject button. Felina watched as the pilotless plane banked slightly to the right followed by the missile. The missile hit the plane exploding in a brilliant flash that consumed the Enforcer jet turning it into a flaming wreck that fell to the ground like a stone. She also saw the hippie kat fly by most likely to inspect his missile's handiwork. He then flew down the canyon towards the dam. It was up to the SWAT Kats now. The SWAT Kats were reappraising their situation trying to decide the pro's and con's of moving to a new city. At any rate Megakat City was still intact and it was their job to see that it remained so. The only problem was what to do to insure that, that remained the case. Just how to do that without weapons was the part that they could not figure out. With Felina down the most that they could do was delay this wacko until the rest of the Enforcers got here to shot him down or until he ran out of gas. They hid in a box canyon near the dam utilizing the Turbokat's hover mode and waited for the hippie kat to make his move for the dam then blast him. Unless he blasted them first. To lower their chance of being detected the SWAT Kats were not using any active radar instead they would wait until they got a visual sighting. "Here he comes Razor." T-Bone called back when the hippie kat came into view. "All right let's get him." T-Bone switched from hover mode to regular flight pulling out of the box canyon into the main chasm firing the cement machine gun at the hippie kat. Surprised by the unexpected appearance of the Turbokat and the globs of 'cement' it fired at him, the hippie kat made an emergency turn to the right flying up the side canyon that he had been using for return flights. The Turbokat followed him, firing its cement machine gun. The globs of quick drying polymers became miniature cannonballs threatening to do severe damage to his plane's tail. Having the Turbokat behind him was not an ideal situation. He could not fire his own weapons at it and could in turn be blasted from behind, although the canyon's rugged curvy walls provided some protection. It would only be a matter of time before some of the lethal globs hit their mark. Coming up was a long straight stretch of canyon. That was exactly what the hippie kat needed. The cement machine gun was a marvelous weapon for close range combat and for numerous targets at a distance. However it was not good for single targets at a distance. If his plan were to work the SWAT Kats would have to after rounding the curve, speed up to employ their weapon. Rounding the corner he opened the throttle and his plane accelerated lengthening the gap between it and the Turbokat. The Turbokat rounded the corner and accelerated as if on cue. The larger, faster Turbokat could easily close the distance between the two and the hippie kat knew this in fact it was what he wanted. "A little closer, a little closer." he whispered to himself as he switched to the air to air missile pylon. "A little closer, now!" The hippie kat closed the throttle and hit his air brakes. His plane's airspeed slowed precipitously and the Turbokat passed by before even getting a shot off. It was almost too good to be true. He was now behind the Turbokat; he closed the airbrakes and throttled back up opening his bay doors as he did so. "Good Bye SWAT Kats!" He laughed as he fired the last of his air to air missiles, "I can't say it hasn't been fun." "Razor, what just happened?" "I believe that our quarry is now chasing us with the help of a missile." Razor noted that both the radar and infra-red warning lights were lit. "Is it o-kay to panic now?" "Yes I believe it is." "Thank you." T-Bone pushed the Turbokat's throttle to full and climbed out of the canyon at a steep angle. Razor dropped flares and chaff hoping to interrupt the missile's tracking system. The missile played little heed to the decoys instead it closed in on the Turbokat. "Y'know T-Bone we should get this guy to work on our weapons design, this missile is equipped with both second generation IR homing and Doppler guidance. If one form of tracking loses a lock the other continues tracking until both can be used again. I get goose chills just thinking about it." "Yeah, well when that missile makes contact with us we both will be getting hot flashes. How about some kind of evasive action to get rid of it?" "About all I can say is we have to outlast it. The missile is heavy and that retards its speed and range. If we continue going at full speed we should be able to stay ahead of the missile until it runs out of fuel." As Razor said this the Turbokat's engines began to make funny noises. "Why does that not fill me to the brim with confidence Razor?" T-Bone asked sarcastically. The ground below them changed to water. They were now over another tributary canyon that had been flooded when the dam was built. T-Bone flew low and turned the Turbokat toward the main chasm. "T-Bone what are you doing, we're barely keeping ahead of that thing? If we make turns like that it's going to catch us." "I have an idea that might just be crazy enough to work. We're going to fly to the dam go into hover mode with our jets back to it. That should take us off its radar and eliminate our infra-red signature. If the dam is still there." ******************************************************************* The hippie kat wanted to insure that the dam was not there to hide behind. His radar had picked up activity at several Enforcer airbases around the city. He guessed that all of his bombing and shooting at what they had sent after him had finally woken them up. It would not matter though they were too far away to stop him from finishing his project. He thought as he turned back up the river chasm toward the dam. He opened the bomb bay doors of his plane readying the bomb for delivery. Concentric rings grew out from a float that bobbed lazily in the breeze. Attached to one end of the line was a lure and hook to the other was a fishing pole being held by Lieutenant Commander Steele. He sighed, after they began blasting all of the fish were scared away it figures that would happen on his day off. The sound of jet engines gave him a moment of pause. Steele turned to see the Turbokat racing toward him. Stupidly he stood up in the boat causing it to tip depositing him in the water. Steele broke the surface as the Turbokat flew over. He spit out water and shook his head opening his eyes only to see the missile coming strait at him. He breathed in again and ducked under the water. To the missile Steele and the junk around him was just debris. The real target remained the Turbokat still firmly within its sights. Until it disappeared from radar its exhaust plumes were still traceable but a new aircraft happened on the scene. The new aircraft was a much more tempting target than the now cold exhaust trail of the Turbokat so the missile changed course aiming for its new target. The hippie kat watched the Turbokat hide behind the dam then he heard the missile warning alarms sound in his own jet a few seconds later. The hippie kat was unmoved by the reappearance of his own missile. The SWAT Kats had obviously figured out how to outmaneuver it and turn it toward him. No matter, he thought as he flipped the safety switch to ready on the missile's self destruct mechanism. He hated to waste a missile like this but it was necessary if his plan was to succeed. He pressed the self destruct button, nothing happened. He pressed it again, again nothing happened. Unfortunately for him the missile's self destruct mechanism was shattered by a bullet that was fired by an irate guard. No amount of pressing the self destruct button would stop the missile until it reached its target. Since his last line of defense was not working the hippie kat did what most people would do in his position, he started pushing the button rapidly and with greater force. The SWAT Kats watched as the plane exploded, "How'd you know to do that T-Bone?" Asked Razor as the hippie kat's plane disappeared behind the dam. "To tell you the truth Razor. This was just one of those times when things just go right. Let's not question why it's so." "Fine by me. Perhaps we should get back to the hanger before Feral gets here and blames us for this mess." Lieutenant Commander Steele dog-paddled his way toward his severely listing tackle box. Each movement he made pushed the box a little further away and caused it to take on just a little more water. When Steele was within reach of it, the tackle inside shifted toward the front of the box weighing it down effectively sinking it. "Aw geez," Steele complained looking back toward the overturned rowboat, "well at least I can still get my deposit back for the boat." As he said that the plane of the recently deceased hippie kat crashed down on top of it both objects sank to the bottom of the lake. Steele shock his headwater droplets flew off his cheek ruffs as head muttered, "I just can't win." End Based on SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron owned by Hanna-Barbera. Independent characters are the property of Christman Enterprises Group. Super Star Destroyer Executor is the property of Lucasfilms. Coming Soon*: Beneath the Surface * soon being a relative term