THE SWAT KATS "BLOOP" SHOW (or: Another result from a bored author) by KS Claw My first fic in the humor genre, so be gentle. Comments will be greeted with open arms. Flames will be fed to my dragon Skie. And DingoChargher is (C) to my sister who goes under the same name. --------------------------------------- (voice): Greetings everyone! And welcome to the SWAT KATS "bloop" show. Hereīre your hosts: KS Claw aaaaand Dingo Chargher! ::applause as KS Claw, a 15-year old she-kat with stripes on cheeks and arms, enters the studio together with DingoChargher, her 19 year old sister:: KS: Hi Everybody! Iīm KS Claw! ::bows to the extra applause:: DC: And Iīm Dingo Chargher! ::bows as well:: BOTH: And welcome to the SWATKATS "Bloop" show! ::both bow under the applause and cheering:: ::KS and Dingo settle down in some chairs and Dingo begins:: DC: So KS, you've just come from the Amazon in Brazil? Cause it looks like your hairīs been through a jungle! ::laughter from audience:: KS: Why yes! I just got a flight home on one of the Pastmaster's zombie-dragons, and when we reached here, he was DEAD-tired! ::more laughter:: ::KS turns to the camera:: KS: Well anyway, we havenīt come here to fire off lousy jokes, so why donīt we just start... DC: THE SWAT KATS "BLOOP" SHOW!!!! KS: Exactly, Dingo. And you know what it means? DC: We will get to see the failed clips which were never shown! KS: On "SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron" and in the SWATKAT fanfics!! Which is why itīs called: BOTH: THE SWAT KATS "BLOOP" SHOW! ::cheering from the audience:: DC: Here is one from the very first episode of the first season. From "The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice." ::DC and KS turn to big screen where the two graverobbers are digging on a old cemetary and now are about to drag up the Pastmaster's chest:: GR1: Oh cripes, itīs heavy! Oops! ::drops the chest which lands on the other graverobber's foot:: GR2: YIIHAAAOOOUUUW!!! ::jumps around clenching one foot cursing and swearing, while the other one laughs:: GR1: Oh god, Iīm sorry! ::cracks up and looks on camera while laughing:: I...it just slipped from me!::keeps on laughing:: KS: Oh, that was an absolute classic! DC: Yeah. I still get stomach ache from watching that one! KS: Well, here is another clip from "The Giant Bacteria," in which the good Dr. Viper... has some mouth problems. ::we see Morboulus and Viper in the docīs lab:: M: So...this is the legendary Dr. Viper's laboratory. DV: A please to the eye, wouldnīt you ssssay Morbou..OW! ::covers his mouth with a paw:: M: Whatīs up doc? DV: ::bends head and chuckles:: I...I bit myself in the tongue... M: Ouch! ::snickers:: DV: ::cracks up and looks on camera:: Ha ha....Iīm sorry! Do you know how hard it is to speak when you hiss, all the time?? Director: CUT! Weīll take that over again. KS: ::clenches stomach:: Oh, was THAT great, or was THAT great? Letīs take another, shall we? DC: I agree fully. Hereīs another from the final scene of "The Giant Bacteria." ::The Turbokat crashes through the wall in the lab and smacks Viper up against a wall with some katalyst-tubes. The canopy opens and T-Bone jumps out but trips on the wing and he lands on the floor:: TB: Ouff! ::Viper comes over and helps him up:: DV: Weīd better take that over again. ::they all begin to laugh:: DIRECTOR: CUT! TB: Sorry, chief! But itīs hard to jump around in baggy pants like these! DC: Oh, thatīs gotta hurt! He he. Well, letīs take some from the fanfics shall we? KS: You got that, Dingo. but first after these messages. ::commercials runs. Then we return to THE SK-BS:: ::KS and Dingo still sits in their chairs:: DC: Hi everyone. Weīre back... KS: ...with more bloops for you to laugh at. DC: So letīs get started shall we? KS: Right away. And here is a failed clip from Glen Battilanas: "Torment." ::We see the "zombiefied" Dr. Viper, T-bone tied up and the witch from GBīs torment trilogy:: TB: Viper, why are you working for this lady, hey? I thought Dr. Viper plays second fiddle to no one? ::Viper gives a small grin in reply and then snaps out after T-Bone, and accidently bite him in the nose:: TB:YOW! W: I said *WAIT*! What is it with men! They never listen! ::shoves up with her arms in a "sheesh!" attitude. Viper clenches his mouth snickering like crazy:: DV: Iīm sorry, Iīm sorry, Iīm sorry!!! TB: Ouch! I dink you gave me a dosebneed. DIRECTOR: CUT! KS: ::laughs:: Oh, good lord! DC: Okay, enough with that one for now. Hereīs one from C.L Furlongs fic "The SWAT Kats Final Resistance: Part 1," where Callie canīt get a proper drink. ::we see Jake offer Callie a can of milk:: J: I can get you a glass if you want. C: No thanks. I prefer it straight from the can, if you donīt mind. ::Jake shakes head and opens his can with his thumb-claw. Callie tries as well, but canīt open it:: C: DANG! OPEN YOU..*censured* CAN!! ::Jake cracks up and Callie looks helplessly at the director:: C: Help me someone? DIRECTOR: CUT! Weīll try that again. ::take 2. Jake has opened his can and Callie manage as well. Then she pulls in the can but...:: DIRECTOR: What is it now!?? C: Itīs my claw! Arg! Itīs stu-hu-huck! ::cracks up and Jake comes over and helps her:: J: Weīll have to do that again! DIRECTOR: CUT! KS: Oh lord, she should have thought of a manicure, before THAT scene! ::laughs:: DC: Indeed. But how about we take some more episodes now? KS: You got it. And here is a failed scene from "Destructive Nature" that proves that Mayor Manx ainīt THAT good at golf! ::we see Manx stand on a golf-field and sees the smoke from MegaKat towers.:: MM: *gasp* what tha... ::swings golf-club and misses the ball, looses his balance and lands on his tail:: MM: ::cracks up:: I guess Iīll have to get a course. ::they all laugh and Mr. Young helps him up:: DC: I agree fully! ::laughs:: KS: ::turns to camera and shrugs:: Sorry people. But thatīs all for now. Join us next time the author has a bored period in: DC: Da DA DAAA!!!! BOTH: THE SWAT KATS BLOOP SHOW!!! ------------------------------ So, what will it be? Roses and diamonds, or stinkbombs and flames? Your choice. to be continued?