This Heading is dedicated to DJ Clawson and Strike with out whom in would never have been possible. I.E. you wouldn't be reading this now I'll try to keep this brief, if you don't know who the Swat Kats are Read another story most of them have a good description of them in the header. If you don't know much about my character look you Strikes RPG page on Geo Cities under SOHO 9294 and read his bio! And Now Hit the lights (thrashy Metallica Music plays in the background) KAGE (thinking) Thinking back I remember it like it was yesterday, that might be because it was in fact only a few months ago. It started on a night like many others I had been driving around trying to shake a felling of depression that stemmed from another source best forgotten but burnt into my brain all the same, please excuse my rambling as I continue on. I was driving slowly around the docks when a strange sound coming from an ally near by caught my attention. Hmm sounds like a mugging, reaching under my seat for an old flight helmet and my katanas glad for once that I usually keep them in my car. Stopping I throw on the stuff I just dragged from under my seat and headed down my dark alleyway, being careful to keep in the shadows like the mercenary that I used to be. Stopping behind a garbage can that is near the sight of the mugging and looking over the thugs 2 of them both big but not so large as I, hmm the mark seams to be resting good the bigger one is talking I can barley make out his words PUNK Man you just don't get it do you punk there's no one around to help you just give us your wallet and we wont have to rough you up KAGE Lucky for you sir he's wrong. (The punks whirl around to face Kage.) PUNK What oh its just one of those swat kat wanna be's. he he (He draws a gun) I'll ice him for you Johnny (I reaching into my boot for my throwing knife.) KAGE Oh really, punk. (PUNK starts to aim) (But I'm faster, throwing my knife. I watch in satisfaction as it thunks into his gun knocking it to the ground) (Standing up as I draw my katanas, I grin) (The punks back up their eyes going wide with sudden fear as they realize how much danger their in) PUNK Man you ca-can't do nothing you're no enforcer. KAGE So why should that stop me you look like criminals to me and I'm betting that this man the one you were mugging would be more than happy to testify against you in a court of law (slapping their in the heads with the flats of my katana blades, I watch as they slip into unconscious) (I turn to the rather small kat the bullies were harassing) KAGE If you just alert the enforcers I'm sure that you can have these 2 put behind bars. (I squint as the ally fills with light) ENFORCER (to KAGE) Freeze mister! You're coming with us! KAGE (Turning slowly my paws held out to the sides of my body) Ah, enforcers -- just the people I wanted to see. There two punks on the ground behind these burning barrels. They where just mugging this solid katizen here. ENFORCER (in a snide tone of voice) Really, SWAT Kat -- but were much more interested in you, T-Bone. Aren't we Murphy? ("Murphy" nods) KAGE (Laughing) T-Bone. You Think I'm T-Bone! MURPHY Book'em, Dan. KAGE Hey, guys -- this is all a big misunderstanding . . . (I seeing stars as the small kat behind him hits him in the back of the neck with the lid from a garbage can) Unggh. **Later, at enforcer HQ** KAGE (Moaning as I regained consciousness I opened my eyes to find myself on a cot in an enforcer holding cell) Hey -- who's out there? What am I being charged with? Hello? ENFORCER (from outside the cell) Hmm. He's awake better -- get Commander Feral. KAGE Huh? Guess they really do think I'm T-Bone. How could they from what I've seen I'm several inches taller and considerably better looking. (thinking : I bet I can use that line on Feral) (Several minutes later the commander arrives) FERAL SO, T-BONE, *I've* finally got you! What have you to say for yourself? I'm gonna make you work off every cent in property damage that you've done in my city! KAGE Heh heh. Feral, you've got it wrong. I'm not T-bone. I don't even look like T-bone! FERAL That so, SWAT Kat? Well, you look like T-bone to me! KAGE Hey, I'm not even a SWAT Kat! I mean, wouldn't I need a jet for that or something? FERAL If you don't have a jet then why are you wearing a flight helmet hmm, SWAT kat? KAGE Hey -- it's a momento its been in my car for almost two years -- ever since I got back to Megakat city. Besides which, why would a SWAT kat stoop to stopping a mugging and where is the property damage a SWAT kat would have caused? Well, Feral? FERAL You're right -- that is odd. I've never known you not to blow at least something up, T-Bone. KAGE Sheesh -- will you stop calling me that, Commander? It's not exactly a compliment. You know I mean. Just because I've been a mercenary for six of the last eight years doesn't mean that I've blown up half of a city. FERAL If you're a mercenary then prove it -- you must have a service jacket or something. KAGE (Shudders tears welling up in his eyes) S-sorry, Feral. The missions I flew were confidential and even if they weren't, I'm retired and my jacket would have been shredded by now. FERAL Then what proof do you have that you're not T-Bone? KAGE Well, you could check the dates of my residency at my current abode. I've only lived there a little less than 2 years and the SWAT kats have been active for a lot longer than that. FERAL True, but you could have just moved. That doesn't prove that you weren't in Megakat City, just that you did live there. KAGE Then I don't know what to tell you, commander -- just that I hope you believe me, because if you try me for T-Bone's crimes it will ruin me forever, even though you wouldn't be able to convict me. FERAL Hmm . . . that doesn't sound like the T-Bone I know. Why don't you take off your little momento and let me get a decent look at you? KAGE What can you give me in return? I mean, I can't believe that it hasn't already come off, or that this won't spread to the newspapers by the end of the day. FERAL Well, SWAT Kat -- I could just take it off myself, and then you wouldn't even get the pleasure of showing me your true identity. KAGE Let's make a deal, Feral -- you cover up the security cams in the corners of my cell, close the door and the window, order your men back so they won't see, and promise not to I.D. me until after the trial -- and then only if I'm convicted, and I'll take off my helmet and tell you who I really am. FERAL Why should I make promises like that, SWAT Kat? Tell me, I'm curious. KAGE Well, because I'm a hardened ex-mercenary who came to Megakat city to start a new life, because that was only the second act of "vigilantism" that I've ever committed. The other was about a week ago. I just broke up another mugging because I was going to let your enforcers take me anyway, even before that creep I just saved knocked me out -- and a few other good reasons that escape me at this moment. FERAL Well, I admit that you're certainly not acting like T-Bone, but that's still not good enough. KAGE Well, then how about this? (standing up and jumping at the same time to bring his paws from his backside to his front in one single motion) If you don't make my deal and prevent this nonsense from ruining my fiscal career, you're gonna have to take it yourself and your sorry little stun guns aren't going to knock me down like your run of the mill criminals. FERAL So you think you can beat me with your paws cuffed, huh SWAT kat? Well, then come on! KAGE Oh, I don't know about that . . . (twisting paws in an unusual way and taking of the now open cuffs) But you want to bet that I can't make getting this helmet off without my permission a painful ordeal -- worth a lot less than I would cost you? FERAL Hmm, SWAT Kat -- impressive, but doing that makes me think that there's more to you then you let on. KAGE Well, there is -- but it' s not what you think and I don't want anyone to know about it. It's kinda private FERAL Then if I make your deal -- and you still haven't convinced me to do any such thing -- you're gonna tell me about it? KAGE I can't -- it's too personal and itos what I came to Megakat City to get away from. FERAL Then you saying it's illegal, SWAT Kat. KAGE No such thing, Feral -- just painful and besides which, it's level 5 top secret. That means that I'd have to kill you if I told you, but I will say that I screwed up and lost the best friends I've ever had because of it. (eyes tear up agin) FERAL That's still not enough to make me agree to your stipulations, SWAT Kat. KAGE Well, then how about this? (pulls out a piece of fur from his tail and holds it up for Feral's inspection) FERAL So how does that affect your situation, SWAT Kat? What, that you can pull out fur and say we abused you? KAGE No, Feral -- if this were fur that probably wouldn't have much effect would it. FERAL Then what is it, SWAT Kat? KAGE Oh, nothing much -- just a neutron detonator. Oh and by the way, pulling it out like that just armed it. FERAL So it's a bomb it's so small that it probably wouldn't kill even you let alone me, SWAT Kat. KAGE If it were a normal bomb, you're probably right -- but this "bomb" as you want to call it works like a giant Microwave and since its powered by Netoium It'll Make every living thing within a radical mile run a feaver a big feaver about a 1000 degrees. FERAL I don't believe you, SWAT Kat. (turning to the door Guard) Get Me Hackle. (a little more then a minute later the guard returns with a phone) FERAL Prof. Hackle -- This is Commander Feral. Here I've got a Kat in my holding cell that says he's got a bomb the size of the first joint on my little finger that will level every thing with in a radical square mile. HACKLE Well, my my -- that's highly unlikely. The only thing I know of that could do anything like that is a neutron detonator and that would have to have a very special power source to do anything like that. FERAL Hold on a sec, prof -- I'll ask him what he said it was made of again. (looking up) Well, SWAT kat -- what did you say it was made of again? KAGE Netoium and I said it would kill everthing not blow it up. Oh by the way, Feral -- it goes off in just over 2 min. FERAL (Back at the phone) Did you hear him, Prof? HACKLE Yes, yes I did -- and it sounds like he's telling you the truth. A Netoium bomb would really do that, terrible, just terrible. Where does all of this violence come from? FERAL Thanks Prof. I have to talk to this mad man now (hangs up and pulls his blaster pointiong it at Kage.) Why don't you just disarm that and give it to me, Now! KAGE (Walks up to the table grabs the pad of paper that was placed there for his intergator to take notes, and quickly scribles somthing down, then flips the pad over and drops the bomb into a pocket on his trench coat.) FERAL What are you doing, SWAT Kat? I said give me that bomb, Now my niece is in this bulding and there's no way in hell your gonna kill her! (voice trembling with rage) KAGE (Walks up to Feral ingnroing the gun untill it is less then a few inches from his chest, moves quickly grabs not at the gun but at Ferals arm pulling the gun forward untill it stops righ over his heart.) Go ahead kill me, I don't really care, I even made it easy for you I wrote down how to disarm the bomb on that peice of paper, just pull the triger and you can save your niece, that is if you can kill me in cold blood. FERAL (Shaking and trembling he seems a hair short of pulling the trigger) Your taking an awful risk, SWAT Kat. How do you know I won't just shot you? KAGE That's becuse I know about honor, Feral. I had honor once, and I know that you'll lose yours if you just kill me becuse deep down I know you believe me, youd be long gone if you didn't. FERAL (Lowers the blaser to his side) Fine, whoever you are -- just stop the bomb. KAGE Deal -- if you'll swear on your family's honor that you personally will check out my story an, guarantee that you'll keep my identity a secret even from your fellow enforcers -- even from your niece, and that you'll keep off the records you find off the record. FERAL Fine deal, SWAT Kat. Now, disarm your bomb and give it to me. KAGE (Clicking a few buttons then tossing the bomb to feral who turns white as he catches it) Oh, by the way Feral you had 7 seconds left. (Sits down nochantly) FERAL (Tells the door gaurd to back off and cover up the cameras) Fine, SWAT Kat -- You have my word of honor and my family's pledge of honor that I won't give your identity away. Unless this isn't really a bomb -- then all bets are off, SWAT Kat. KAGE The deal has been made Feral -- see that you stick to it. (Takes of his helmet) Now you've seen my face and got your bomb. And now for the rest of the bargain : my name Is Michael M. McKatson I live at 210 West Boulevard and the records I have are in a safe in the floor under my bed. It's in the master bedroom. You should have no trouble finding it. It's the really big one. ______________________________________________________________________________ A little break here for the heck of it. And for a qoute from Kage The Painful warrior famoused for fight, After a thousand victories, once foiled, Is from the books of honour razed quite, And all the rest forgot for wich he toil'd. Sonnet 25 ______________________________________________________________________________ FERAL (to door guard) Guard that door well and keep the prisoner there. Don't let them take him for identification. And don't mess that up! **Later, at the crime lab** FERAL Well, is it what that wacko claimed it was? DEMOLITIONS EXPERT Yes, I'd say it is. It's incredible, sir. I can't even get into it without seting it off, but I would say that this is most defiently the most advanced explosive device that I've ever seen, who ever made it must have been an genius plus the metals in this "bomb" -- it's really to advanced to call it that -- are worth several hundred thousand dollars. FERAL Hmm . . .I wonder where that vigilante got that kind of money, or if he just stole it. DEMOLITIONS EXPERT No, sir -- this is not from any for the weapons firms or the gov't. It'd have markings on it, this was either custom built . . . FERAL Or what? DEMOLITIONS EXPERT The vigilante you caught built it himself. Either way, it's worth about $300,000 dollars. FERAL That much? DEMOLITIONS EXPERT Yes, sir. (Feral storms off) **Later in the holding cell** (Slamming open door to cell Feral enters) FERAL You certainly look comfortable, SWAT Kat. KAGE Not Really Feral oh and would you knock it off with the SWAT Kat bit? Sheesh, it's getting about old enough. FERAL Well, I went to your house and read through your records. It looks like there's pretty good prof that you're not T-Bone, but There's still enough to send this to trial. Oh, by the way, SWAT Kat, you're being put on trial tomorrow. The lawyers want this done A.S.A.P. and there's not too much I can do about it. KAGE Hmm, well then Feral -- if you really believe me leak the fact that I'm being put on trial to the newspapers. FERAL Wait, SWAT Kat -- I thought you wanted this kept secret! KAGE I do, Feral -- my identity at least -- but if you leak this to the papers I'd bet half my fortune that the Real SWAT Kats will show up at the trial, and then this trial would be pretty much over wouldn't it? FERAL Clever, SWATK Kat. Very clever, but what if your idea doesn't work? KAGE Then it'll take me a while longer to get free, but that's not important as long as you keep my identity a secret. FERAL Why don't you want people to know your name swat kat? KAGE I'm a business kat and it'd ruin me all my contacts wouldn't think of me as a rulthess entrupner any more they'd think of me as a joke and I'd never recover. FERAL True, but you seem to have more than enough money secreted away for the rest of your life. KAGE Yeah, I do. But how would you like to have people point at you every were you go, to have your privacy continually invaded? See my point, Feral? FERAL Yes, I think I do, SWAT Kat. KAGE Oh and by the way Feral don't bother setting a trap for the Swat Kats they are doing me a favor if they show up after all! **The next morning at the Salvage yard** JAKE Hey, Chance -- you'd better take a look at this! CHANCE What is it? I'm watching Scardy Kat! JAKE (Dropping news paper into chances lap) You made the front page, buddy! CHANCE Huh . . . (picks up news paper and reads a little of the article) Poor guy, considering the way Feral feels about us. We've got to help him -- but how? JAKE Well, I figure the SWAT Kats ought to put in an appearance at the trial. It's scheduled for today -- in about half an hour. CHANCE Jake, you're brillant. Let's go. **back at the holding cell** GUARD Come on, creep -- you don't want to be late for you trial! (laughs) KAGE Hey, not so rough there, buddy. It's not like I'm cuffed. I could get upset if you don't lay off. GUARD Wadda you mean you're not cuffed you're supposta be? KAGE Yeah, well, I didn't like the enforcer accesories so I took them off. GUARD How? KAGE That's nor really any of your business -- but let's just say that a child could get out of those cuffs. GUARD Sheesh -- well, put 'em back on . I don't want to get fired and if you don't have cuffs on I probably will be. KAGE Fine -- just lay off a little bit. It's not like I killed your family or something. GUARD All right. Just get those cuffs back on before someone sees you without them! KAGE (Clicking cuffs back onto his paws) Fine -- now lead the way my good man. GUARD All right. It's just across the street. **at the arringment** JUDGE Well, mister kat -- since you won't tell us who you are and Commander Feral won't I.D. you for some mysterious reason, I have no choice but . . . (stops as the rumble of a jet engine penetrates her court room) Bailiff, check that out! (T-bone and Razor wave from the TurboKat as the bailiff comes out. Several people are now watching them) FERAL (as he exits the Court house) So we don't have you after all, T-Bone. T-BONE Bingo, Commander. Why would you think that you caught me, anyway? I meen whoever you caught doesn't I mean I'm way better looking. FERAL You think so, SWAT Kat? Well, maybe you're right. Why don't you take off your mask and let me decide? T-BONE Nice try Commander (his voice changes a little as he dose a poor imation of Feral) What do you think I am -- Stupid? But why don't you tell me why you didn't I.D. the kat you've got in there? FERAL Becuse we made a deal based on honor, somthing you wouldn't understand Swat Kats! T-BONE I'm sure it took some fancy maneuvering to get you to make that promise, Commander. FERAL I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, SWAT KAT. T-BONE That bad huh, Feral -- well now that we've put a stop to this farce we're out of here! RAZOR Yeah. See you later, Commander -- Much Later I hope! (Jet leaves just as I get a good look at it) KAGE (to myself) Incredible -- simply incredible. I've got to track them down. (Judge slamms gavel against podium to regain control of court room) JUDGE ORDER ORDER! (As crowd quiets down) Now considering the recent events I'm going to have to let the defendant go. Good-bye, mister, and try not to darken my doorstep again. (I run across the street dropping the cuffs about half way and hop into my car) KAGE (to Feral) Good-bye! I wish I could say it's been grand, but it hasn't. I do owe you one, though. Oh yeah you can drop off my stuff any time if im not there just leave it by the gate. (My car accelerates in a puff of burnt rubber but stops accelerating at the speed limit) FERAL Damn -- there goes a perfectly good excuse to bust that kat! **A few minutes later Kage is in the hanger that is hidden under his house. It used to belong to McKatson Tech and was used to store top secret developmental jets** (climbing into the cockpit of a black jet with purple trim and now wearing an old black flight suit. There are serval out lines faintly viable that suggest patches that have been removed) KAGE (to myself) Boy, dad I'm sure glad you kept this hanger and its contents a secret. (Grin as I close the canopy) You really out did yourself with this one, dad. I just wish you could see it now that it's finished. (pressing several buttons that open the concealed hanger door and launch the jet using a massive catapult system) KAGE Now where are those SWAT Kats -- I haven't even said thinks yet. (Looks at radar screen) Hmm . . .there they are. Good thing they haven't moved too much yet! Must be on patrol. (Thrusts forward on the accelerator and grunts as the G's throw me back int the command chair.) **about a minute later** RAZOR Hey, T-bone -- looks like we've got company! T-BONE Where, little buddy? There's nothing on radar. RAZOR Look up. T-BONE (looking up) Well, well -- what do you know? Maybe Feral was closer than he thought. RAZOR Yeah, it does look like the guy from the newspaper. T-BONE Well, what do you think, Razor? Is he any good? RAZOR Yeah, T-bone -- I think he's pretty good considering that he's flying with you upside down less than a foot away from our cockpit at mach 2 and is giving us a paws up sign -- which means he's only got one paw on the controls. T-BONE True -- but whattaya say we play some canyon tag and find out just how good he really is? KAGE (voice on the intercom) Sure, T-bone, but let's take it outside town -- and by the way you can call me . . . (slight pause) Kage. T-BONE Sure thing, Kage. How long have you been listing in on our com chanle? KAGE Oh, not to long (TurboKat accelerates away from the black jet) KAGE Hmm -- looks like they want to play fast. Good. (black jet accelerates after TurboKat) T-BONE Well, buddy -- is he still there? RAZOR Oh yeah, T-bone -- he's still there. And he's gaining on you for that matter. T-BONE Hmm . . . I wonder what he's got under the hood. Well, hang on buddy. We're hitting the desert test run. RAZOR At mach 4 -- are you nuts, T-bone?! T-BONE Nope. You just leave the flying to me! RAZOR Oh Sheesh, T-bone. (Blacking out from the high G bank into the canyon) KAGE Hmm . . . they're good. (grunting From the sudden lateral G's as his jet enters the run) T-BONE (to Razor) Well, buddy -- is he still there? Razor? (looks back) Man, he must have Blacked out. (banks jet to avoid a spire of rock and sees Kage) Man, he's still there. This guy is good! (Barrel rolling plane around the rock spire and through the arch. The TurboKat went around. Kage draws even with T-bone) KAGE (over intercom) Very impressive, T-Bone -- you're almost as good as they say you are. T-BONE Oh yeah, Kage? You ain't seen nothing yet! (pulls up and flies over a bend in the canyon as the mystery jet flies around it. T-bone regains the lead) KAGE Excellent, T-Bone -- I'm impressed. T-BONE Yeah, well -- you should be! (snarls as mystery jet kicks in after burner and scoots into the lead going right underneath him) KAGE But I'm still the best! (banks around corner at such high speed that his wing tip touches it, giving the lead back to T-Bone) Shit -- that wasn't suppose to happen! T-BONE Yeah. Looks like you goofed up, Kage and I don't think your gonna win now. (Accelerates down final straight away of run towards a cliff wall) KAGE (Cutting in after burner and caching t-bone at the very end of the canyon as both jets pull up) True, but it doesn't look like I lost, either. T-BONE No, it doesn't, Kage. I'll admit that you're incredible -- seeing as that's the only way you could have tied me. KAGE Fine -- and I'll admit that your as good as they say. Hey, you want to get together later? T-BONE Not at my place. I don't trust you that much yet, but if you want to get together at yours, just tell me where it is. KAGE Sure. I don't think you'll give me away. It's at 210 West. Boulevard. T-BONE Hey, that's very rich neighborhood, so is your money clip as big as your ego. KAGE Bigger, but my neigbors still don't like me for some reason, stop by any time tomorrow -- at 2 will be fine. If the neighbors complain I'll just tell them that you're actors and I was thinking of producing a SWAT Kats Movie or something. T-BONE Sure, sure -- listen, I'm getting low on fuel so I gotta go back to the hanger, but I'll see you tomorrow. Bye. RAZOR (waking up) So did you kick his tail, T-bone? T-BONE No, sleepy head. I didn't. What's the idea -- taking a nap like that? RAZOR You know what happens to me at high g's T-Bone. We did win, didn't we? T-BONE No, Razor. We didn't. (some anger in his voice) RAZOR You mean he won? T-BONE No Razor, he didn't. (starts to laugh) RAZOR So what happened? T-BONE We tied, Razor. We tied. RAZOR Really? You must be slipping! T-BONE Hardly. In fact, we both broke the record run by 10 seconds. RAZOR Whoa -- then he must be incredible! T-BONE He is, Razor. I've never seen another pilot that good, except for me, of course. I'd just love to know where he learned to fly like that, Pilots that good don't grow on trees you know. RAZOR Well, what else? Did you invite him to join or what? T-BONE No, but we're going over to his house for lunch tomorrow. RAZOR Really? Where is that? T-BONE 210 West Bulevard. Real ritzy place, if I remember correctly. RAZOR Did you get a good look at his jet, T-bone? It was incredible! I've never seen anything quite like it and I can't believe it didn't show up on our radar. T-BONE Come on, Razor -- you must know about stealth technology. RAZOR Yeah, I do, but I modified our radar to pick up most stealth signals. T-BONE His jet must be Radar asorbant or something. Well, sleepy-head -- why don't you ask him tomorrow? (Jet lands) RAZOR Fine -- I will, but for now, don't you need to be fixing Deputy Mayor Briggs' car? T-BONE Yeah, yeah -- I'll get right on it, Jake. Whatever you say. * The End *