Here you go- (be careful what you ask for- you just might get it! as they
say) The next two Tortie installments. They're almost starting to write
themselves, since I've been plotting out parts 4 and 5. #5 is a real
shocker, as it introduces a new evil one in MKCity (he makes Madkat look
sane!), hints at the origin of another mysterious villain, and unleashes a
third. Kind of makes up for all this character-establishing stuff.
As I say- All constructive comments cheerfully accepted, and just as
cheerfully ignored if they don't suit me.
**********************************
The Tortie Papers - Part Two - 
Sergeant Tortie Addresses the Troops

"What is this citrus-reeking bilge?" Tortie growled as she stalked from 
her office, waving a paper under Bob's whiskers. A look of relief washed
over the face of Ali, as his fellow cub reporter would be feeling the sting
of Tortie's blue editing pencil this time. 

"I-I-Its the write-up on the minimum wage you told me to do." he stammered. 

"Oh, I thought it was an exercise to help me draw horizontal lines!" she
retorted acidly. In fact, she had drawn a blue line through almost every
line in the printed text. It would have been quicker to re-write the ten or
twelve words that remained and throw out the page, but Tortie had a point to

make. "Bob, I told you that I'd make a real reporter out of you, even if I
have to pull every whisker out of your 
snout to make an impression ..." 

"And you, Ali, don't you slink away. You two could have been from the same
litter! Now get back here, and pay attention."

"The current minimum is not enough for many kats to survive on." She quoted
in a mocking sing-song voice. "What's wrong with this sentence? Where to
begin? First of all, I asked you to write a factual report, not a
lemon-scented editorial! This piece is nothing but your worthless opinions,
strung haphazardly together. Secondly, if the pay's not enough for kats to
survive on, why aren't they dead? 
Thirdly, 'Never use a preposition to end a sentence with !!!'" 

The last few words were echoed by Lenny Gatto, who had taken a break from
writing his sports column to enjoy the dressing down. The time-honored
tradition of breaking in cubs was something he had missed for a long time.
This new editor was turning out to be all right! He had been skeptical of
her at first, but she had told him privately that she didn't know
unburied-krap about sports. "I want your opinions to be discussed around
every water-cooler in MKCity, Lenny." she said 
"They can think that you're a gift from heaven one day, and want to make a
burnt offering of you the next. Just get those sports fans reaching for the
Trib like it was a hunk of oily codfish!" That was editorial direction that
Lenny could live with! Snowy would always get her tail in a knot when angry
letters would arrive in response to his column. 

Tortie shot Lenny a look over the cubs' heads that said "Don't you dare
laugh and give this away!" He could tell that she was probably taking her
act from an old boot-camp flick from MegaWar Something-or-Other. He rolled
his eyes, flicked his ears, and gave her a snappy salute that said "I
wouldn't dream of it, Ma'am, Sergeant Ma'am!" 

"And another thing-" Tortie continued, "I suppose you mewling kittens
imagine that your pay isn't commensurate with your princely abilities? Then
answer me this: Who is the highest-paid kat at the Trib?"

The two cubs looked at each other. Like the recruits in the aforementioned
movie, they realized by instinct that any answer would be wrong, but that
they had to answer. "Ummmm--- you?" ventured Ali, "Ms. Skaukatt!" crowed Bob. 

"Me? Hah. I'll have you two litter-scrapers know that I make EXACTLY the
same pay as you. Skaukatt? Every word we print right now COSTS her money.
Gatto? He does the work of three newskats, literally, but he's not paid what
he's worth. The highest-paid kat at the Trib is Ed Lynx. He and his boys in
the basement. They've got a skill, and know a trade, and they always get
paid what they're worth. 
Now Lenny here, and I, we don't know a trade. All we've got is well-informed
opinions. Opinions may not get us a lot of money, but at least they give us
dominion over you!" 

"Now you. You certainly don't have any skills, and your opinions are totally
void of merit. What does that make you?" Tortie fixed them with a steely stare. 

"Er... It makes us willing to listen and learn!" said Bob, with Ali nodding
in agreement. 

"All right! Now, do you have any idea where Ms. Skaukatt, owner of this rag
is?" They shook their heads. "She's out talking to the small business owners
of MKCity about what a good idea it is to advertise in the Trib. Do you
think that they will welcome her with open arms and wallets after they read
your story, calling them greedy skinflints that don't pay their entry-level
fish-flippers enough? I don't think so. It doesn't sound like a good plan to
me. In fact it sounds like a great plan to get us all exciting new jobs in
food service, with you two as assistant-second-class entry-level
fish-flippers!" 

The phone had been ringing in Tortie's office, but she had ignored it.
Finally the aging phone system bounced the call to Lenny, who reluctantly
picked it up. "Ms Caracal",  he said to Tortie, "I hate to interrupt your
much-needed pep talk to these green-whiskers, but a prominent citizen of
MegaKat City is asking to speak to the new editor of the Trib." 

"What? Who knows there's a new editor already? All right, send it back to my
office. And Lenny, while I'm on the phone, could you please take some time
out from your busy schedule to give these kittens some of the benefit of
your wisdom and expertise?" 

"With pleasure, Ms. Caracal!" purred Lenny.

********************* end of part 2 **************************