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The Tortie Papers - Part Eight - 
Did They Have to Mail Invitations to the Members?
by Paul Kemner - pkemner@bright.net 

"Have you ever seen a larger collection of quacks, flakes, and 
charlatans?" Tortie whispered to her entourage. "Outside of city hall, 
that is." 

Tortie had brought Ali, Bob, and Frisk, a stringer photographer, to the 
opening of the MegaKat Prognosticators & Astrologers Association's 
Annual Psychic Fair. She didn't know how Snowflak had done it, but 
the MPAA had bought full page ads in the Trib for a week! With that 
kind of presence, they were obligated to provide some extra publicity. 
It rubbed her fur the wrong way to give good press to such silliness, 
but sometimes you had to feed the kitty. 

"Hey- Hizzhonor has arrived." Frisk pointed. Indeed, Manx and the 
deputy mayor had just come through the entryway. 

"Let's go over and see if we can join them. Maybe we can get two 
stories for the price of one." said Tortie. Would Briggs recognize her 
from their previous meeting last week? Tortie would pretend the whole 
thing didn't happen unless Briggs brought it up. No sense making an 
enemy of a potential news source. 

As they approached, Manx spotted the press passes on the four kats 
and brightened. "Ahhh... members of the media. Always glad to see 
the sentinels of truth in this fair city. Don't believe we've met... Be 
sure to get my right side in profile, by the way, it's the most 
photogenic." 

"We're the contingent from the Trib, Mayor. I'm Tortie Caracal, the 
new editor, and this is Bob, and Ali, ace reporters. Frisk here is the 
best photographer in the city. Our motto is 'We Cover the Best in 
MegaKat City.' Do you mind if we tag along and take some photos of 
you at the booths?" 

"Mind, my dear? I'd be delighted. It's the citizens' right to know that 
their Mayor is leaving no stone unturned to make a better future for 
them." The deputy mayor, standing behind him, rolled her eyes. 

They began walking down an aisle. An enterprising kat under a sign 
that read 'Pawistry' noticed the entourage, press passes, and camera. 
"Read your paw, Mayor? Want to know your future- On the house, 
of course!" 

"On one condition- I want to know who will win the next Manx 
Invitational Golf Tournament!" Manx sat in the chair facing her. 

She took his paw, studying it carefully, as Frisk snapped a picture. 
"You are a very lucky kat. The luck arc here is sharply arched. You 
have had great success in the past, as this line shows. Now, your life 
line-" her eyes widened as she glanced up at his face, then she 
nervously turned her attention back to his paw. "Ummm.... You are a 
very lucky kat, and almost all of your associates value your company. 
That's all I can see right now. Thank-you Mayor." She quickly handed 
Frisk her card and said "If you need the correct spelling of my name, 
it's on the card." as she ducked behind the curtain at the back of her 
booth. 

"She didn't tell me about the tournament." Manx complained. 

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"It's an old trick." Tortie whispered to Ali and Bob. "Give someone a 
free sample, then pretend that you've seen something really important. 
Make them pay to hear more. I'll bet we'll see it with every kat here." 
Ms. Briggs overheard, and snickered. 

They continued down the aisle, looking at displays of crystals, potions, 
talismans, and the like. A booth draped with a riot of multicolored 
fabrics, and the sign "Madame Chatinsky- Card Readings" caught 
their attention. "I sense the presence of this city's King and Queen." 
came a voice from inside. "Enter and know your fate!" 

"You try this time, Callie, I can't be seen playing with cards. The 
citizens would think I was gambling with their tax money." Callie 
entered the booth, with the others looking through the flap. She sat at 
a small ornately-inlaid table across from Madame Chatinsky, who 
pointed silently at a sign that read "Readings- $10" 

After taking Callie's money, the reader intoned: "The Cards are the 
embodiment of universal archetypes. They indicate the fates through 
the interaction and mediation between you, the seeker, and I, Madame 
Chatinsky, skilled reader who through many years of difficult study 
and tribulation can read their messages." Chatinsky had been shuffling 
the huge cards in a complex pattern, fanning them out on the table, 
cutting them and re-shuffling. Her rings and bracelets clinked in a 
rhythmic pattern. "Now, my dear, you must cut the cards several 
times, inverting the stacks SO." She demonstrated and handed the 
cards to Callie. 

They were thicker and heavier than playing cards, and had an ancient, 
hand-printed feel. Callie did as she was instructed and returned the 
cards. "I will name your cards and describe them as they are drawn, 
but an insightful interpretation must wait until all seven have been 
selected and placed in their pattern." 

"The first card indicates your past." She drew the card and placed it 
on the right side of an arch inlaid in the table. "The Hanged Kat-" she 
intoned. The card showed a kat hanging upside-down by one foot. 
"This card does not indicate the hanging of a criminal. Instead it 
indicates a sacrifice willingly undertaken for enlightenment or 
advancement." 

"The second card- your present." The next card in the arch depicted a 
femkat in fancy robes and crown, holding an open book. "The High 
Priestess- Secret knowledge, Something Hidden that will eventually be 
revealed- Mystery and Duality"

"The third card reveals hidden influences." It was upside down, and 
showed a kat in king's robes, holding a scepter and shield. "The 
Emperor, Reversed- One who hates authority, and manipulates in 
secret." 

"The fourth card unveils obstacles." She placed the card at the top of 
the arch, showing a circle of seven swords, a candle, and a kat in lotus 
position. Madam Chatinsky hesitated- "The Seven of Swords- This 
indicates you have a hidden, extremely dangerous, very powerful 
enemies."

"The fifth card unmasks the attitudes of others." It was another 
inverted card. The moon was at the top, two mythical 'dogs' were 
shown in the center crying at the moon, with a crayfish in a pool at 
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the bottom. "The Moon, Reversed- They think you engage in trickery, 
insincerity, and dangerous, secret fantasies." 

"The sixth card advises what you should do." It showed a wheel, with 
kats on the top, bottom, and both sides. The kat on the bottom was 
being crushed, and the one at the top wore a crown. "The Wheel- Stay 
alert and take advantage of any coincidence, luck, or destiny." 

"The seventh card shows the most likely result." She drew the last 
card and placed it in the last position of the arch. As she drew her 
hand away, the card stuck briefly to it, showing that two cards had 
stuck together. Madame Chatinsky gasped, yanked her hand away as if 
it had been stung, then placed the cards side-by-side. "Never have I 
heard of such a shocking result! If the two cards were not such extreme 
opposites, I could convince myself that it was a mistake!" The card 
that had been on the bottom showed a kat bound to a pillar, pierced by 
swords, while an old crone looked on. The other card showed a queen 
with shield and scepter. "This card is the Ten of Swords- Ruin- it 
betokens utter destruction and the failure of all your plans. This card, 
however, is The Empress- it depicts achievement of your goals, and 
complete success!" 

"You are voluntarily sacrificing and working hard toward your goals. 
Powerful hidden forces oppose you, as the second, third, and fourth 
cards show. It is *very* unusual for all three cards to indicate this. 
Other kats will think that you are engaging in trickery and deceit. 
You should stay alert for any advantages and allies that you might 
have." 

"As I said, the last cards both are very definite signs, and do not 
indicate an either/or result. Your plans will *somehow* be completely 
thwarted, and just as completely attained. I fear that you will be soon 
be undergoing the most difficult test of your life. The reading is at an 
end." She placed her hands on Callie's, then drew them away. "Stay 
alert- young femkat!" 

"Thank-you, Madame Chatinsky. My head will be spinning for a week 
with all the future has in store!" Callie got up and left the tent. "That 
blows my budget for the evening. Maybe if I was Mayor, I'd get the 
freebies!" Manx gave her a sharp look, but Callie was already walking 
down the aisle. 

In the next booth was an ancient snow-white kat. "Mayor Manx-" he 
said, preening his long whiskers, "I will endeavor to cast your fortune, 
as a public service. Enter." 

After Manx sat, the hatchet-faced diviner removed the top from an 
engraved tube, spilling a quantity of thin bone sticks onto his table. 
He bent over the pattern, studying it carefully, intoning "The Well", 
then selected a scroll from another case. After consulting it, he pointed 
to the two sticks closest to Manx. "The well is muddy, the people can 
not use it. Great Misfortune... This means that some great task is not 
being attended to." Pointing to the other pairs, one by one: "Shooting 
arrows at minnows in the well, the bucket is ruined... Signifies that 
the talents of your subordinates are misapplied or wasted.", "The well 
is clear, but the people are afraid to drink... The confidence of the 
people is lost.", "The well can be re-lined... means it is possible to 
reform, rather than to be overthrown.", "The water is pure and cool... 
Things improve for the subjects, through reform or revolution.", "The 
well is put into service. All rejoice in it... That means that the 
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previous action is for the good of the subjects." Scooping up the sticks, 
he returned them to the case. "Now I must cast again for the second 
set." 

"No, No thank you. I think I've heard quite enough already. Come 
on, Callie." As they left the booth he continued "There's always one 
troublemaker in every barrel." 

"Oh! There you are! You're the kats from the Trib, right?" Tortie's 
group was accosted from behind. They reluctantly turned away from 
the interesting mayoral developments to face a fluffy kat with a 
"Show Organizer" badge. 

After exchanging introductions, she continued: "I hope you're getting 
some interesting material for your paper. You should be sure to attend 
the program being given by Roakffrt. He's our featured guest this 
year, and we flew him in especially for this show. He's a Tyromancer, 
which is an extremely rare and mysterious form of divination. His 
program and demonstration is in fifteen minutes, and you should be 
sure to get good seats, so the pictures will turn out. After that, if you 
have any questions, just look me up at the info booth. I can introduce 
you to any of our exhibitors, and line up some short interviews with 
them!" 

Tortie and the gang dutifully filed back to the program area. There was 
little danger of not finding seats- the entire area was vacant. Since it 
had been a long work day, and they'd been wandering about at the fair 
for quite a while, they decided to sit down anyway. 

"I should have got a photo of Manx when Briggs joked about being 
Mayor! Wouldn't that have made a great pic for the front page?" 

"It would have, Frisk. His expression when he was getting a reading 
from those stick things would have gotten you a prize, too, but I don't 
think we could actually use either of them. No sense alienating the 
powers that be with something trivial. Then when we really need a 
scoop, they'll look at us as enemies. If we ever get anything really big 
on Manx we'd be ignored. The readers would just think we were out 
to get him if we take *every* opportunity to make him look like a fool!" 
Tortie looked at her program. "What's the deal on this Tyromancer 
guy anyway? I wish they had printed something more informative 
than just 'ancient' and 'mysterious'. Is that a code for 'he just made 
the whole thing up'?" 

"Quite the contrary! Tyromancy dates back to the dawn of dynastic 
history. We have a number of objects at the museum that I believe may 
have been used for Tyromantic divination. Oh- I'm sorry. I didn't 
mean to lecture you. Just a hazard of my profession, I'm afraid." 

"No, that's quite all right. I always appreciate getting information 
from a reliable source-" Tortie read the stranger's name tag- "Dr. 
Sinian. Would you care to join us? We're from the Trib, and we're 
here to do some publicity for the fair. I'm Tortie Caracal. Did you say 
you were from the Museum?" 

"Yes, I'm the Director." She said, moving to a seat next to Tortie. 

I haven't had a chance to visit the Museum since I came to town, but 
it has been up there on my list. What can you tell me about this 
Roakffrt guy?" 

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"I don't know anything about him personally, but I have seen 
tyromancy mentioned in scrolls and texts. The ancient practitioners 
did not write about their art directly, although there are references to 
the Emperors consulting them on all major decisions. Tyromancy is so 
obscure that I suspect his rituals are likely to be genuine folk survivals 
of the original practices. Someone who really wanted to cash in on 
popular interest in the occult would pick something more attractive, I 
think."

"So you expect to learn something from watching his demonstration?"

"That's the main reason I came. You can learn about a culture from 
the divination methods that they use. For instance, there is a kat here 
that casts bone sticks, which date back almost as far as tyromancy. The 
readings he gives are all indicative of a highly stratified feudal society. 
If you listen carefully, you will notice that almost every cast talks 
about the two-way structure of that society. The people and 
subordinates have specific duties to the ruler, and the ruler has very 
structured obligations to his people and subordinates." 

"Hmm. So if I were to look at the popular fortune-telling methods of 
today, I could make inferences about our society?" Tortie jotted the 
idea down, since it would make an interesting sidebar to the show 
publicity. "Most of today's predictions seem to be about luck, 
relationships, and money, so that must sum us up pretty neatly." 
Tortie turned back to Dr. Sinian. "You said that you had antique 
versions of the tools that Roakffrt is going to use? Would you mind if 
we stopped by the Museum tomorrow to get some photos? If you've 
got any other fortune-telling gear, I could use that, too. It will be an 
interesting twist to tie what's going on here to displays at the 
museum."


********************* end of part 8 **************************