Anniverary Blues
Don Redmond (dredmond@math.siu.edu)
As usual the characters belong to the folks at HB.
Someone asked me if Commander Feral knew about the relationship between
Calico Briggs and Felina Feral. This is my attempt to answer. I think I
forgot the question.

Anniversary Blues

	The two she-kats were finishing up getting ready to go to the
thirtieth wedding anniversary party of Mr. and Mrs. Menelaus Feral. The
dark haired she-kat, in the sleek black dress, was humming to herself as
she finished combing her hair and adjusting her earrings. The blond
she-kat, in a red velvet dress, was fretting more than getting ready. She
had decided she was as ready as she was ever going to get.
	"Felina, why are you going to this? We both know there is not much
love lost between you and your parents."
	"I am a Feral and it is expected of me. Besides there are some
members of my family I do care for and this is one of the few times I get
to see them. Even though I see Uncle Ulysses all the time, this is one of
the few times we get to be uncle and niece and nothing more."
	"Commander Feral is going to be there? In a suit? Let's go!"
	The two she-kats were still laughing as they got into Felina's car.
	It was not a long drive from Felina's apartment to the hotel where
the party was to take place. As she pulled into the parking garage a he-kat
stepped out of the shadows. He handed Felina a ticket and then opened the
door so that she could get out. Another attendant opened the door on the
other side.
	"Valet parking. Your parents think of everything."
	"Sometimes they do."
	On the elevator ride up to the floor where the party was to take
place the two she-kats stood next to each other each with an arm around the
other's waist. Just before the car stopped at the appropriate floor Felina
gave the other she-kat a last kiss.
	"Wish me luck."
	The two kats stepped off the elevator and Felina dug around in her
purse for the invitation to give the doorman. He checked his list and let
them in. Right inside the door were Felina's parents.
	"Mom, dad, you remember Calico Briggs, the Deputy Mayor?"
	Felina was smiling, but her mother was not.
	"Felina, how could you?"
	Callie turned to Felina, "I think I'll go find a table." She turned
back to Felina's parents. "Nice to see you again."
	The room the party was to take place in was a ballroom. There were
quite a few tables set out throughout the room, but a place had been set
aside for dancing and up on the stage was a large dance band. Callie
bemoaned the fact that Felina did not like to dance. The wall paper was a
nondescript floral pattern and it looked to Callie like the carpet
continued the pattern in different shades. On the other end of the room was
a double door that led out onto what looked to be a large balcony.
	Callie looked over the tables for a few moments and then spotted a
familiar face looking in her direction. The older dark brown he-kat was
sitting alone at a table and looking uncomfortable. "Commander, are these
places taken?"
	"Ms. Briggs? No, have a seat."
	"Call me Callie. Are the greetings between mother and daughter
always so warm?"
	Before Commander Feral could answer an explosive voice was heard
near the door. "Felina Alexandra Feral, what were you thinking of!?"
	Feral laughed. "Actually, Felina usually gets the cold shoulder. I
think you're responsible for this. By the way, the name is Ulysses."
	At that moment Felina arrived. She walked over to her uncle and
after giving him a greeting kiss on the cheek she sat down next to Callie.
"That went remarkably well. If I'm lucky, mother won't speak to me a for a
few more years."
	Callie looked at Felina and started to say something to her, but
decided against it. So the three talked for awhile when a young looking
he-kat came up to the table. He asked if the fourth seat was taken. He was
a tall and muscualr with white-fur streaked with tan. Felina told him the
chair was free.
	He sat down and turned to Feral. "Ulysses, please introduce me to
your beautiful companions."
	Feral glowered at the kat for a moment and then smiled. "This is my niece
Felina Feral, daughter of our guests of honor. The kat next to me is Calico
Briggs, Deputy Mayor of MegaKat City. Ladies, this is Tom Birman. He is
related in a very complex way to the Feral clan."
	"I remember Felina from some years ago, but being from out of town
I have not had the pleasure of seeing you before, Ms. Briggs. I may have to
move to MegaKat City."
	Birman spoke mostly at Callie about what he had been up to
recently. Like many of the Ferals he was involved in business, but his
import/export business kept him travelling most of the time. When the band
started to play he asked if either of the she-kats would like to dance.
Callie said that she would.
	About midway through the dance tune Felina looked at her uncle. "Is
that the same kat who came through here about five years or so ago?"
	Feral smiled in reply.
	"Why did you even let him sit at this table? What are you trying to
do?"
	When the music got to a slower part Birman pulled Callie closer.
"Why don't we skip the rest of this party and go back to my hotel room? I
know I can show you a better time than you'll get here."
	Callie pulled back, but spoke in a sweet voice. "I'm sorry, but I'm
already spoken for."
	"I'm sure I can show you a better time than he ever will."
	"I doubt it. She knows me a lot better than you do."
	Callie could almost feel him let go of her. However, Birman was a
gentleman. He finished the dance and escorted her back to her table. He
then excused himself and said he had a business partner to talk to.
	When Callie saw the look on Feral's face she exploded. "You knew
didn't you? You knew the type of kat he was. I don't want to be part of the
floor show, Commander. You Ferals live in a different world than I do."
	With that Callie got up and left the table. She headed for the balcony.
	Felina looked at her uncle for a moment. "You're still trying to
break us up aren't you? You're no better than mother!"
	Felina stood up so quickly her chair fell over and she walked off
in the direction Callie had gone. Feral found himself the only person at
the table and all he could do was stare at the two purses that did not have
their kats with them anymore.
	Out on the balcony Felina saw Callie standing in the farthest
corner from the door. She wanted to run up to her lover, but knew it
wouldn't be a good idea. She walked about half the distance and began to
speak.
	"Callie, I'm sorry. It was a stupid thing for me to do. I should
know better than to use us to get back at my parents. I really did want you
to come with me because you are the kat I like to be with. I thought my
parents  would be an added bonus. It seems like everytime I try to get back
at my parents I lose, even if I win.
	"I didn't know what my uncle was up to until it was done. Please
forgive me." Felina paused for a moment. "I don't know what else to say."
	When Callie did not reply she went the rest of the way to Callie
and put her hand on Callie's shoulder. Felina felt a little better when
Callie didn't shrug it off or freeze up under her touch and she felt even
better when Callie turned around to face her.
	"You're not a loser, never that. I just don't want to see our
relationship used by anybody as a weapon. I more or less knew what you were
up to and I probably should have objected before we got here, but your
uncle caught me by surprise. His smugness just set me off."
	Callie put her arms around Felina and pulled her close. As she ran
her hands through Felina's fur the sensual brought up the spiritual and she
realized once again that the kat she held in her arms was the one true kat
for her that she loved above all else in this world.
	The transcendent mood was broken as a smiling Felina pulled back a
little to be able to face Callie. "You know I think there is a Kat's Own
Restaurant a few blocks from here. They have the best tuna melts in town.
It's got to beat out whatever they are going to serve here. Want to go?"
	"Sure, providing we get a bucket of fries."
	The two kats embraced again and then heard gunfire and screams from
inside. They let go and Felina went over to the window to see what was
happening. She peered in between the curtains and saw several kats in masks
with guns. She also saw one climb up onto the bandstand and then they heard
him.
	"Just calm down. We don't want any trouble. We just want your money
and jewelry. So as my people stroll among you just toss in all wallets,
purses, earrings, bracelets and necklaces. Did I forget anything? Well, if
I did toss it in too." He laughed and jumped down. "Pete go outside and see
if anyone's out there."
	The two she-kats hid in the shadows behind some potted trees and
hoped they wouldn't be spotted. They weren't. They waited in hiding for a
few minutes until they were sure no one was coming out after them. Felina
stood up and went over to the railing. As she looked around Callie came up
to her and whispered.
	"What are you looking for?"
	"A way down. There doesn't seem to be anyway to get out of here. No
way to alert the Enforcers."
	"And my Swat Kat signal is in my purse which I thoughtfully left on
the table. Maybe the kat who picks it up will set off the alert."
	The two kats couldn't find anyway off the balcony except through
the ballroom, and so they huddled near the door and waited. Eventually the
thieves gathered all they could carry and withdrew. The leader had some
parting advice.
	"Enjoy the meal, dance to the band and if anyone comes after us,
we'll shoot."
	With that they were out the door. As soon as they were gone the two
she-kats ran back inside. As they went by where Commander Feral stood being
hounded by Felina's mother Felina called to her uncle.
	"Come on, Commander, we might be able to slow them down."
	"Felina, you get back here."
	Felina ignored her mother.
	The three kats took the elevator the thieves had not. As they rode
down Felina and her uncle discussed what they should be looking for when
they got down.
	"They obviously are going to have to get rid of their masks and I
can't see them leaving the building in a large group. I think they're going
to split up and sneak out one at a time."
	When they got down to the ground floor Callie went to the front
desk to call the Enforcers while the Ferals kept watch on the exits. After
calling the Enforcers she also put in a call to the Swat Kats. Then she
went over to Felina.
	"Something just occurred to me. Why would they come down here?
Didn't you expect them to come down here? Why wouldn't they leave via the
roof. Isn't there a helipad up there?"
	"Shit! Uncle, tell them to go to the roof." With that she ran over
to the elevator.
	Feral went to the desk and commandeered the phone. Callie went over
to one of the large stuffed chairs in the lobby and did what she hated to
do: wait for Felina to get back from a case. This evening was trying its
best to be a really really bad night.
	When Felina got to the top floor she looked for the door to the
roof. She heard someone walking in her direction and hid around a corner.
This kat was carrying a briefcase and went past her toward the door to the
roof. She waited and then followed him up. At the door to the roof she
snuck out and spotted the helicopter. It was warming up, but she couldn't
tell how many were on board.
	She heard another kat coming up the stairs and when the kat stuck
her head out the door Felina grabbed it. She slipped on the gravel of the
roof and as she fell she could feel the wall of the stairway cover scraping
her arm. When she hit the roof she found out how sharp all those little
pieces of gravel were. The good news was that the thief had hit her head on
the wall and was unconscious. Unfortunately for Felina the only weapon she
carried was a pistol.
	Someone on the helicopter yelled. "Felicity, get a move on!" It was
the same kat who had spoken in the ballroom. A few minutes went by and then
the kat called out again. "Felicity!" When there was no response the kat
said, "We can't wait any longer, get this crate up in the air." With that
the door closed on the helicopter and it started to rise.
	Felina stood up and thought about the chances of bringing a
helicopter down with a pistol. If she could get in a lucky shot, she might
do it, but not in the middle of the night. Just then she heard another
helicopter coming.
	"Unknown helicopter, this is the Enforcers. Land immediately or we
will open fire."
	The helicopter turned away from the Enforcers' helicopter and began
to make a break for it. Felina assumed that they either had a fast
helicopter or one that was bullet proof. Just then another noise was heard
in the night sky. She looked and saw , in the light of the Enforcers'
helicopter, the Turbokat hovering in front of the thieves' helicopter.
	"This is the Swat Kats. Either you land or we'll blow you out of
the sky."
	The thieves landed back on the helipad and the Enforcers landed
nearby. The thieves helicopter was enveloped by lights from the Enforcer
helicopter and the Turbokat.
	"Throw out your weapons!"
	The helicopter door opened and a several weapons flew out. To
Felina that seemed like enough, but she couldn't be sure. It was possible
they had more weapons stashed in the helicopter. Two Enforcers hopped out
of the Enforcers' helicopter and as they got close to the other helicopter
the thieves opened fire. One of the Enforcers was hit and went down.
	From Felina's vantage point she had a straight shot into the
helicopter's doorway. Unfortunately she still only had a pistol, not even a
machine pistol at that. As the thieves shot at the Enforcers Felina opened
fire. She doubted she was doing any damage, but she knew she was
distracting the thieves. Suddenly there was a loud thud against the side of
the helicopter and Felina looked to see what looked like concrete splashed
up against the thieves' helicopter.
	The Turbokat was still hovering over the roof when it suddenly
backed away as another helicopter rose into view and shone a bright
floodlight on the door of the thieves' helicopter.
	"This is Commander Feral of the Enforcers. Come out with your hands
in the air or we'll open fire."
	A few moments passed and Felina figured that in this light, even
with just a pistol, she could do some damage. However, she didn't get the
chance when the thieves began to climb out of their helicopter. Soon there
were several Enforcers swarming the roof, including Felina, and the thieves
were taken into custody.

	It was about an hour later when Callie heard a helicopter land out
in front of the hotel. Soon thereafter Felina came in the door and the two
kats embraced.
	"Ready for dinner?" Felina spoke as if there had only been a slight
delay.
	Callie looked at Felina for a moment. She could think of several
things to say to Felina, but settled for the easiest. "I think you need to
wash up first. Are you okay? You look scraped up."
	"Just some scratches. In the morning there'll be some bruises, but
nothing to worry about."
	In the ladies' room Felina washed up. Callie asked for a short
report on what happened and got one shorter than she bargained for. "Don't
you have to go in and make a report?"
	"I'm still off duty. I told the Commander I'll take care of it in
the morning. Maybe by then I'll feel like speaking to him again."
	Suddenly Callie threw her arms around Felina. "I was afraid I was
going to lose you."
	Felina thought of a few smart answers, but decided not to use them.

	In the parking garage the attendants were surprised to see two
guests leaving already.
	"The robbery was too much for us. I'm sorry I don't have anything
for a tip, but the Enforcers have my money as evidence. They won't give it
back to us until tomorrow." The four kats laughed and the two she-kats
drove off.
	As Felina parked in the restaurant's parking lot she turned to
Callie. "This is continuing to be one of those nights. You don't have any
money on you, do you?"
	Callie started laughing. "We could charge it to the Enforcers.
After all they have our money."
	"No! If we did that, I'd have to explain it to Steel."
	Both kats laughed and then Felina looked over at Callie. "I guess
we can go back to my apartment. I can do tuna melts. Sorry about the fries,
however."
	"We'll just have to think of something else to take their place then."