Two really wild maniacs

	Hi. I am the writer of this story and now, I would like to point
out a few things.
	Firstly, this story is in Megakat City. If you could not figure
it out by yourself, well, now you shall never know because I already
told you, SO THERE, HA!
	Secondly, the characters in this city are all different types of
mammals. For example, in this city, there are kats, dawgs, raccoons,
mice and other forms of mammals who walk on their hind legs. There
are no birds, reptiles or fish that can walk on their hind legs (that
I know of that is). WHAT? Just because you never saw any dawgs in the
Swat Kats cartoons does NOT mean there aren't any! It's just that
Kats make up a majority of the population. There are no humans
whatsoever in this city. Don't ask, there just isn't.
	Thirdly, I did not ask Hanna-Barbera permission for using Megakat
City or for the use of their characters. I wrote this story just for
the sheer fun of it. AND I AM NOT MENTALLY UNSTABLE, HAHAHAHA!
	Fourthly, there are no gross or obscene scenes in this story. And
if you were hoping for some, immediately go seek professional
psychiatric help you sick, sick monkey!
	Fifthly, the similarity between the Mask and Douglas D. Dog and
Harry Furrball is intentional. Doug and Harry are the "Masks" of the
Kat Universe. I have no intention of infringing on the property of
Dark Horse comics or the cartoon. So please do not sue me.
	Sixthly, ... actually there is no "Sixthly", I just used it as a
desperate ploy to make the story seem longer. (And hopefully, make
the story seem better).
	And now, on with the story (faint fanfare of trumpets)

	In the dark shadow of the night, a vigilante waits in the
darkness. He waits for the perfect time to strike down on crime. He
waits until Dr. Viper comes close enough for him to exact his
revenge. Suddenly, I, the writer realize that I am writing the wrong
story and now YOU must wait until I remember what story I am supposed
to write. I slap my head, think for a while, go to the fridge and get
some refreshments (if you want you have permission to go too). I
remember want I am writing about and immediately set about writing
the story. You can stop waiting now.
	The story begins at the garage. We see Chance Furrlong and Jake
Clawson watching television. They are now watching Scardeykat. If
this were a cartoon, I would not have to tell you that. But
NOOOOOOOOO, some lousy JERK (whose name I believe is tED tURNER)
cancelled the series. HEY tED! If you are reading this, I HOPE THE
FLEAS OF A THOUSAND GIANT CAMELS INFEST YOUR ARMPITS! AND I HOPE
THOSE FLEAS HAVE BIG APPETITES, EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM! And now back
to our story.
	"Ha, that Scardeykat sure is a real riot right Jake?"
	"I can't believe that I let you talk me into watching the Scardey
Cat cartoon marathon."
	"Aw come on, he's a ton of laughs, besides it's only three
hours."
	"Why can't Dark Kat attack Megakat City at times like this."
	Suddenly, out of the blue, before either Jake or Chance could
react appropriately, a sign falls on my head. It says, " We get the
picture so get on with the story! Yours sincerely, the readers."
Anyway, a Kat with light brown fur and a yellow suit jumped on the
sofa between Chance and Jake.
	"Heyhowdy,canItakeaseat,don'tmindifIdo,doyouhaveanypopcorn,neverm
indIbroughtmyown."
	After having said that in one breath, he reached into his coat
and pulled out a bathtub full of popcorn and started munching on it
while watching the TV, completely ignoring the two kats.
	"Oh darn, I forgot the butter. HEY DOUG! GET ME SOME BUTTER!"
	As if on cue, a Jack Russell terrier (in case you didn't know, a
Jack Russell terrier is a dawg with a white fur coat (his own fur,
that is) and several patches of brown fur on it) jumped through a
window, leaving a dawg shaped hole behind him. He pulled out a tanker
full of butter from his trousers pocket, poured some on the popcorn,
put the tanker back in his pocket. Then he sat down and started
watching the TV too. At this time, Jake and Chance were
flabbergasted, but who wouldn't after seeing what they have just
seen.
	"Hey who are you guys? And how did you get in here? The door is
locked."
	"I'm Douglas D. Dawg and my friend here is Harry Furrball.
Friends just call us Doug and Harry. We're really famous comedians.
Or at least we will be when someone watches one of our acts."
	"If you can't tell who is who, you're probably blind or at least
lack common sense. And to answer your second question, I unhinged the
hinges on your door."
	Jake turns and sees the door propped against the wall, unhinged
and all. Wanting to sort everything out, he turned around to question
Doug and Harry further. Only to find that they are completely
engrossed in the cartoons. They would not answer to him at all.
Seeing no other alternative, he stood in front of the TV, blocking
their view.
	"HEY! DOWN IN FRONT!"
	"Doug, I'd like to ask you a few questions..."
	"OKAY! I CONFESS! I CAN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE ANY LONGER! I,
DOUGLAS D. DAWG, WAS THE ONE SWALLOWED THE REFRIGERATOR!"
	"You swallowed the refrigerator?"
	"Well, I was hungry and it looked so appetizing. Oh and I ate
everything else in it too."
	"YOU SWALLOWED OUR REFRIGERATOR?"
	Doug was about to reply when he burped and a refrigerator light
fell out of his mouth. Doug smiled sheepishly (Or should that be
doggedly?) Jake shook his head and decided to ask Harry instead. 
	"Harry I'd want to know why you're here and how did you do all
those things?"  
	"You mean like pulling out a Ferrari out of my back pocket."
	"Yes. And..."
	"Why I'm glad you asked, we have an origin sequence made on tape
for just such an occasion."
	At a signal from Harry, (literally, Harry signals Doug with two
flags) Doug pulls out a tape labeled "The Origins of Doug and Harry".
He then pulls out a VCR and in five seconds flat, he fixes it to the
TV. He then stretches the TV as though it was made of clay. You could
have really used this guy the last time you watched a video. He then
takes out a shotgun blasts the lights out.
	"You could have just used the light switch."
	"But this way is funnier."
	Doug jumps back onto the couch and Harry takes out a remote
control and presses a button. Unfortunately, it was actually the
control for a bomb and he pressed the detonation button. Thus causing
a mansion to explode. Fortunately it was tED tURNER's mansion and
there was nobody was in except tED. So needless to say, nothing bad
happened. Harry scratched his head when nothing happened, threw the
control over his shoulder and into a trashcan. He took out another
remote and pressed a button. Thus causing the destruction of planet
Earth. Just kidding! It was the real remote and he had started the
tape running. It ran to a nearby snackbar, bought four packets of
popcorn and ran back. He then placed the tape into the VCR and played
the video.
	The show starts and the TV shows Dark Kat in some kind of lab.
Both Chance and Jake are surprised to see this.
	"Hahahaha! Now I have created Catalyst 101. This will mutate the
cells of any living being into that of a super soldier. Now I must
find some "test subjects" to make sure that the Catalyst works
properly. But where to find..."
	Dark Kat turns to the window and who should pass by but Doug and
Harry. At this point, these two wild maniacs are currently not so
wild. In fact you could even say they look like the average boring
kat on the street (Gasps of horror), except for Doug who would look
like the average dawg on the street (gasps like before, only louder).
And then twenty creeplings jump out (I've counted them, really I
have), grab them and drag them back to Dark Kat's lab. This caused
panic in the streets, or at least it would have if anyone actually
witnessed the event. The few living creatures there either were not
evolved enough to cause such a reaction or were looking the other
way.
	The creeplings now tied Doug and Harry to the wall in a
rectangular room with a flask of Catalyst 101 on it. By now you would
probably expected some protests from our two captives. Actually they
did protest but I'm only letting you know now.
	"HEY! LET ME GO! I'LL SUE! AND I HAVE A REALLY GOOD LAWYER!"
	"Actually we don't how good she is Harry. We hired her 12 years
ago and we never gotten into a situation where we actually needed
her. And I didn't get a good enough look at that pretty shekat's
resume because you hired her on the spot."
	"That's not the point. Hey you weird red errr... thingies. Where
are you taking us?"
	"Hey Harry, this could be a great plot for a comedy. If we're
ever actually that desperate."
	Dark Kat enters. Again I curse tED tURNER for canceling the
cartoon.
	"Welcome to my lab. You two fine specimens are about to be test
subjects for my latest creation. Catalyst 101! You are very fortunate
for I'm about to take a different approach at applying the Catalyst.
Instead of just pouring the Catalyst over you, I will place a bomb in
the flask and when the flask explodes, you will be completely covered
by the Catalyst. It will give you incredible powers beyond the
thinking of normal Kats, just like in the comic books. And I will
place electronic collars on your necks. These will give me total
control over you when I activate them. And if the experiment fails
and you die, I will simply throw your carcasses into Megakat
Harbour."
	"Wow, we sure are lucky right Harry?"
	"Shut up Doug."
	Dark Kat places a bomb into the flask containing the Catalyst and
runs out of the room and locks the door. Doug and Harry exchange
glances and gulp.
	"This is really going to hurt."
	The bomb explodes and Dark Kat enters the room. Both of them are
still intact and look suprisingly well for a kat and a dawg who have
been extremely close to an explosion.
	"Gee, if you stop and think about it, it wasn't that painful
after all."
	"Now let us commence with the tests."
	He releases the two and puts them in another room. He then
commands ten creeplings to attack Doug and Harry. The creeplings
attack, but Doug and Harry knock them stupid with two really big
mallets, which they took out from behind their backs like a cartoon
character. While the pile of semi-conscious creeplings contemplate on
whether to consider working at a fast food restaurant, Dark Kat
brings the two to the next test. He then takes out a control and a
laser cannon rises out of the ground and prepares to blast Doug. But
Doug takes out a set of tools and reassembles the laser cannon as a
candy bar machine. While Doug and Harry snacks on the candy bars,
Dark Kat laughs out.
	"Hahahaha, with these two I will be able to rule Megakat City
with no one to oppose me! And after that, I shall set my sights on
the world! Hahahaha..."
	"Woah buddy, I'd hate to rain on your parade but what makes you
think we're actually going to help you with that insidious plot."
	"Don't but be a fool, with collars you have on I will be able to
control... uh oh."
	Harry had slipped off the collars and placed them on two
particularly unlucky creeplings who are currently having two thousand
volts being zapped through them and obviously not liking it one bit.
	"I...impossible! The collars cannot be removed!"
	"Yeah, well tell that to those guys."
	"It's amazing what you can do with a little butter. Hey let's
jump about the lab and wreak havoc."
	And with that Doug and Harry jump about the lab and wreak havoc.
Knocking the occasional creepling unconscious with a mallet. Dark Kat
has been shocked by the sudden turn of events.
	"Curses, the experiment has been a failure. Fortunately I still
have the formula written on paper and downloaded onto the computer
and memorized so that I may try again."
	"Gee looks like you won't be too pleased when you find out what
we just did."
	Harry had folded the paper with the formula on it into a paper
plane and threw it into a fire that had resulted from Doug smashing a
couple of vials of chemicals on a computer. Doug then used the CD
that held the formula as a Frisbee. It flew under the wheels of an
onrushing train, smashing it completely.
	"I'm sorry I really am but I just cannot let you take over
Megakat City. It's not very nice taking over a city with brute
force."
	"And now we're going to have to erase that Catalyst 101 formula
from your brain too."
	"Ha! Just try and stop me from escaping."
	Dark Kat runs over to the door leading to his jet, opens a door
and runs into the wall that Doug had just built there recently. When
Dark Kat regains consciousness he finds himself tied to a chair.
	"Hi, I see that you have regained consciousness. Now we're going
to try to hypnotize you into forgetting that nasty old formula."
	And with that, Doug pulls out a giant watch and begins
hypnotizing Dark Kat. But he only succeeds in hypnotizing himself
into thinking that there are four creeplings flying around his head.
	"Ooooooh, look at the weird looking whatzits."
	"Okay Doug, let's forget about this method and do it the easy
way."
	And then Harry pulls out an anvil and drops it on Dark Kat's
head. After repeating the above procedure several times, Dark Kat has
soon forgotten the formula for Catalyst 101 (along with several other
things). Then they let him go off and wander in the streets until an
Enforcer arrests him for loitering. Then Harry turns to the screen
and starts talking to the people currently reading this piece of fan
fiction.
	"Okay readers, now is the time I'd like to tell you something.
Most of the stuff we do here defies the law of reality and should not
be done by all of you humans. I just wanted to clear that up and make
sure no one gets hurt trying to do some of this stuff."
	"Hey Harry, the Scardeykat marathon is about to start in five
minutes."
	"Holy Toledo! Let's hope that we can get to a TV in time for the
show."
	And as the tape ends, Doug and Harry zoom off in search for that
TV. Harry replaces the blasted the light with a brand new one, and
turns the light back on.
	"Well guys that's it, that's our origin and most of your
questions have been answered. Now can we get back to the cartoons
pal?"
	"Don't you have a TV at your home?"
	"That brings up another situation I'd like to mention. We were
looking for an apartment before we gained our spectacular powers and
since it's already so late, I was just wondering if we could stay
here until we find somewhere to stay."
	"We'll give you twenty issues of Kat Kommando comics."
	"Deal!"
	"Chance!"
	"Oh come on, it's only for one night."
	Jake looks at two very expectant and pitiful kat and dawg who are
currently begging him on their knees. Doug is trying to spit shine
Jake's shoes, only to find Jake does not wear shoes and has spat onto
Jake's feet.
	"Okay! But only for one night."
	Doug and Harry rush out of the garage and rush back in carrying
all their things.
	"Oh yeah, if you have any problems finding out that you're the
Swat Kats, don't worry because we already know."
	Jake and Chance look at each other in surprise. Jake turns to ask
Harry something, only to find that they are both sound asleep on the
beds they pulled out of their pockets. Jake sighs. He knows that even
if they really did leave tomorrow, they'll be hearing from those two
for a long time.